I'm Hurting So Much Right Now, This Might Tear Us Apart

I hate to say this at all

but my boyfriends parents might be the reason we eventually break up

of course I dont WANT to break up with him

I love him so much

But his parents are trying to "limit" our time together

saying that we can only see eachother 3 times a week

that is KILLING us

hes just under a year away from moving out

and he feels like hes in prison

i dont know what to do

i would do anything for him

this is the man i'm going to marry i can assure everyone that much

right now hes talking to his parents about how he feels

hes literally scared of them

scared his dads gonna beat him, even though hes never touched him before

i cried when i heard everything

i dont want a boyfriend who i can only have limited visits with

and i'm sick and tired of his parents PATHETIC BULLSHIT

its something new every week

no girls on the top floor or in your room

they're scared we're doing it 24/7

and i'm sick and tired

i'm tired of fighting

i know i NEED to fight to make this work

but i'm just so depressed over this

every time i find out about something new i cry

and i can't stop

this is all because of his stupid parents...

if anyone can just TALK TO ME please...

i can't talk to anyone else

and honestly this prompted me to join

i feel so alone

and i feel like its my fault

StrivingForMore StrivingForMore
18-21
8 Responses Feb 25, 2009

At least you get to see each other. My boyfriend lives 2 hours away. His parents refuse to let me visit him and now my parents are also refusing. I don't get to see him. He's only here for another 2 months before he goes back to Australia, so we have limited time to see each other before he goes back again and we aren't allowed to.

And we've been together for over a year.

Seeing your bf 3 times a week is awesome. Be grateful.

Add a response...

I am in the same situation right now. I would like to know what happen with you and your boyfriend. You see.. I am 19 years old going on 20 real soon. My boyfriend is 17 and has one year left of highschool. His parents are EXTERMELY strict on him. He has baseball talent like no other and plays year round. His parents are on his *** about baseball and scholarships and college. He has to email about 20 colleges a day and has to some kind of baseball once everyday as well. Whether its throwing, hitting, or playing in a game. I accepted that baseball comes first and that he has alot on his plate right now. His mom continues to sit us down and talk about him and I. She says she is okay with us seeing each other but she does not want us to get "serious". We are falling in love with each other.. no questions asked. Well yesterday his parents took away his keys to his truck and his cell phone for lying to them (about something SO stupid). Him and I both know its because they want him and I to stop seeing eachother. Luckily we email and they don't know that. But the pain is killing us both. What do I do? I really feel like he's the one... I know this all wouldn't be happening if he didn't play baseball. His mom anddad are scared that he's going to fall in love with me, get serious with me and then turn down a scholarship to play baseball because he doesn't want to leave me.. Honestly I told my boyfriend that I would move with him WHERE EVER he got a scholarship to.. but his parents don't know that.. What do I do? What do we do? We can't live on emails for a year...

Hey strivingformore =)<br />
Hows u? And how are things now??<br />
I do hope everything is fine..<br />
<br />
Let us know what has happened..we care for you!<br />
<br />
:)

Thank you to everyone that has commented<br />
but i can assure you that i do want to be with him<br />
i'm very picky when it comes to guys<br />
so i know how good i have it with him<br />
Yesterday after i posted this and we talked this through<br />
he told me that if his parents continue to do this<br />
hes going to walk out on them<br />
and i sincerely believe he will<br />
and no i'm not one of those girls who are like<br />
omg i love my boyfriend and he could never lie to me<br />
i believe myself to be a very good judge of character, and i understand how to read people<br />
hence my choice of going into psychology<br />
i know for a fact that he means everything he says<br />
but now i'm worried that hes starting to change on me<br />
he's always been this amazing loving gentle caring kind guy<br />
and hes starting to not make sense sometimes<br />
or he'll just randomly fall asleep when hes with me<br />
now i can't differentiate if hes just tired and comfortable when i'm holding him( so he claims) or if i'm really JUST that boring<br />
some people may be right<br />
i do have a few doubts<br />
but thats because i have slight ocd( self diagnosed of course) haha and i know i read too much into things

You really seem to love your bf deeply...but in life, one has to be realistic and not expect much..You have to fight for your rights...<br />
<br />
And you seem to be suffering a lot...Frankly speaking, is it worth it?? Do you feel that he is the one?? coz if he loves you sincerely, he should not be afraid of his parents..He should be able to confront them..<br />
<br />
When you love with all your heart, you must be true to yourself and to the one you love too...You have to sort things out..Both of you guys (ur bf n u) sit n talk about it...It just can't keep going like this...<br />
<br />
Afterall, you're a person and you do not deserve to be treated like this...Be firm with him n tell him how you feel..And if he still does not give a damn, then STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM....Forget him..<br />
<br />
I know that might sound harsh but being after someone who does not care for you is pitiful..You must be strong and realistic....Be practical...See things from a different angle...Surround yourself with peeps you love....<br />
<br />
Keep us updated...Peace n Love!

Back in 1981, I met a guy who was four years younger than I. I was twenty-four, he twenty<br />
We started dating and the age difference didn't seem to matter.<br />
I got on well with his Mum - even went out for drinks with her a few times.<br />
<br />
Everything changed when our relationship went from dating to being serious and he asked me to get engaged.<br />
Overnight, his mother's attitude turned really hostile.<br />
<br />
All of a sudden, I was *****, leading her little boy astray.<br />
I was banned from the house, she spread vicious rumours about me around the neighbourhood (they lived just around the corner).<br />
Once, she turned up on my doorstep at midnight, on a freezing December night, dressed only in pyjamas and a rain coat, hammering on the door and screaming at the top of her voice that it was time he was home in bed!<br />
<br />
I realised that he wasn't mature enough to handle the situation when he began hitting me.<br />
<br />
As his mother's stranglehold on him tightened, so his anger and confusion became more focused on me. The occasional slap became regular punches and twice, I needed treatment at the ED.<br />
<br />
The second time, I needed a surgical collar after he'd damaged my neck and a sling to support a fractured elbow.<br />
That was when I got out.<br />
<br />
Sweetheart, I'm concerned for you and the state of mind you're in.<br />
<br />
Right now, you probably can't see a furture without this boy.<br />
I understand that, but it seems clear that to me, reading your words, that YOU'RE the one who's suffering here.<br />
<br />
You say you're depressed and tired of fighting.<br />
<br />
I really think that you have to ask yourself the question I had to ask myself; is this boy and what you have with him REALLY worth all the pain you're going through?<br />
<br />
The fact that you've asked for help through EP suggests to me that you have doubts.<br />
<br />
I probably haven't helped much - if at ALL - butI felt I had to respond to your post.<br />
<br />
If you'd like to talk, please contact me.

Wow. You really have it rough. How old is your boyfriend? If he is 18 or over, what's to stop him coming to see you more than three times a week? Why is he so scared of his parents if they have never beaten him? Is there some reason why his parents are so strict with him?<br />
<br />
It sounds like a really difficult situation, and I really feel for you. I'm sorry that I can't offer you any advice but if you're unhappy and there is no way that this situation can be resolved maybe you should have some serious words with your boyfriend.