Living With The Ex!

Ugh where do I start. He doesn't want our relationship.. In his words he does and he doesn't.. The one foot in one foot out flake. I realized he's not someone I 'd want a relationship with several times, after a lot of trouble. Although we live in a society where when we become dissatisfied with a person we immedietly throw them away and onto the next! Usually it's those that act like doormats who get thrown away not the ones who do the stepping! People need to throw out those who want to walk all over them or at least stop making children with people of this nature! So here I am listening to him say he doesn't want to be here and it's settled. He's moving out. Is he looking for a place, NO! I'd imagined he would put effort into moving out but instead he looks up potentials from his past to fill his "loneliness" created by himself and plays video games at the library ALL DAY! He still wants to hang out like no break up occurred. Still tries even! Tells me if I'm talking to other guys that he wouldn't be trying like he is though because I wouldn't tell him what my weekend plans are. Wtf. Says he doesn't think he'll ever find a connection like the one we have. Evidently though he's searching to see what's out there! As far as I'm concerned going on dating sites as "single" is cowardly. You don't make a choice to end things or put in the effort so you mislead the other person. I found out & my heart was done. If you want out leave it's a choice to stay just like it's a choice to work on issues you have. If you feel you can't work them out, leave! The other person doesn't need you to keep them from someone who won't mislead them. If a guy wants to leave, why doesn't he look for a place! He has maybe a box full of stuff too so it wouldn't be too hard to leave. He doesn't have friends other than myself so staying at a friends is out as far as I know. Now I'm looking at options to leave myself but it's much harder for me for all kinds of reasons. The longer he stays and comes off as if he's doing me a favor the more ugly he becomes to me. I asked him to move out from the room & he still sleeps in the same bed! Still wants to have sex big surprise!... but get real. I'm not a flat doormat. Jeeze. I suffer from depression & so he thinks my sadness is about it being over? Hah! As far as I can remember its "been over". A year of breaking up & misery. Him telling me he's not sure about us the whole time, me kicking him out. He leaves & ish happens so he comes back to help pack up. . Time to move to a new place & he moves in with me to where we are now! Although I did look for places on my own beforehand and a lot of freaky home set ups in Vancouver. We had a day to find a place or be homeless so pressure was on! I was better off moving in with him as we get along & enjoy being around each other. We are not at each other's throats. That's what makes this all the more frustrating. You think the guy would move out already to preseve the amicable commutation. I know he takes me for granted which is lame. I mean it's not every day for him he meets someone he connects with it being 10 yrs since the last time. What the hell is he waiting for? I don't have feelings for him anymore. U think about just taking off & am planning to do that as soon as I can. Do all guys cheat? Are all guys on dating sites flooded with issues that all they have to offer is sex, head games or both! Jeeze. I'm happy to be single for awhile because lonely people act pathetic. Everyone feels alone or aloneness sure but they are confident enough with themselves not to try to take someone else down! Where are those people. Anyone else going through this or experienced this? What did you do about it?
whosgonnasavemysoulnow whosgonnasavemysoulnow
22-25, F
3 Responses Jan 6, 2013

hope you find the right person another romantic who love you and see how amazing you are

i am so glad you breaking free and hope you have a happy life and someone who cares about you and appericates you

I knew I had to let him go but I needed to build my courage to face life alone again. This unhappiness was a distraction to face things in my life I've been avoiding. I'm ready to move on with my life now. It's hard being a romantic & thinking all people are capable of giving & receiving love which of course is not true. Some people will forever sabotage themselves & cause much pain to those who let them in enough. Nothing is wasted if even 1 lesson learned. I will make better choices when it comes to the heart.

if you dont want him why dont you put his stuff out side and change the locks you say he left but came back to pack up so if he left he wood of had some where to live so why let him move in to the new place i am sorry to say you been a door mat he will hang around with you live with you till he finds another girl to be with he got no reason to leave he got a roof over his head and he got you to keep him company if he moved out and lived on his own he be lonely you moan about him and say you dont want him most people wood of had him out the door with his box of stuff the min they did not want him you move to a new place and he move in with you if you dont want him then you need to get rid of him you 2 be living together till he finds another girl stop been a door mat

I know I wasn't all together clear in my rant. In our last place, I kicked him out after finding his active "single" profile on the dating site we met. (He created a new one). Anyway so he was out. Then some reoccurring problems with other roommates put me in a position to find a place within days. His stuff was still at the place & so I called him letting him know the situation & to come get his stuff if he wanted to. He came & we packed up together to get the hec out of the place. Then he tells me that he's just scared that it's not me he's trying to run from but from the stress & with everything that happened I was still weary. So after looking for somewhere with only a day left to find a place I made sure to find one with no lease or month to month not being more informed about him. Anyway I did kick him out after I wrote this post. Thing is his name is on the month to month lease. However I made a deal with him after he was made to sleep outside & he did sleep outside I saw his set up myself :s. he doesn't have anywhere to go. So I told him to sign a letter saying he wants off the lease & he can stay till the end of this month but after that place or not he'a out. I mean I avoid him at all costs when we're here at the same time. I don't make it "friendly" for him & he sleeps on the floor in the living room so its not exactly comfy & cozy. I did set boundries with him the problem is I sacrificed them for financial reasons. Anyway it's coming to a head at the end of the month either way. I'm getting away better job & so I can afford to live on my own now which is awesome! His mom also gave him a word or two since she really noticed now sarcastic he's become. He's not my problem anymore. It just sucks people take advantage of compassion & kindness yet complain they don't feel loved.

Even if he does find a girl, it won't fix his issues & I wish them luck. He was paying rent & helping out so it's not like I was being used there. He told me he's selfish & an *******. Won't get him far in life and hasn't gotten him far to date.

To be honest I felt attachment to him & didn't fully want to "give up on us". I got use to having the comfort of someone familiar around. I should have set him free long ago but things are always easier said then done when it isn't you who feels attachment to another regardless knowing you 're better off. It takes time to break addiction and often more than one try for it to be final.

No he went to sleep outside and a year later I found out he was still living outside.

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