I Will No Longer Waste My Time With "friends" That Will Hurt Me

Honestly, how can somone be so stupid as to insult someone and not realize how hurtful their words may be? Even when joking, people should be more careful and weigh their words. Last night, I was talking to my friend's boyfriend. He's been my "friend" for as long as she has since I'm the one who introduced them. Well, he actually called me a guy with long hair and fake boobs. I don't know where that came from, but I simply stopped talking to him. I'm not offended because I know he's not very bright anyway... He's quite a loser... But I'm simply not going to let him talk to me like that ever again.

LeZombie LeZombie
22-25, F
4 Responses Feb 24, 2010

I hope you feel better soon. I like the way you put it. It is more like evolving. I have been friends with these two (mostly with my female friend) mostly because of nostalgia. I miss the way things once were, but I can see it as something that I'm growing out of. It's sad to let friends go, but I believe I will grow from this if I see it as a positive change. Don't blame yourself! I understand that your response was all that you could have given me with the information I put in my experience. I didn't even expect a response from anyone. I'd like to be friends with you. Thanks for lending a hand.

Thanks for feeling comfortable enough to share. I'm with you on this one, just remember bhe is not in any position to judge, nor am I. Often we intervene, ahead of all facts. Attribute mine to difficult health prob., just arisen which can be life changing, lethal or in some fashion liveable. His comment was crude, but so from what you have written, consider the source! You were good intentioned, rewarded by gross stupidity and inconsideration. Sounds like his way of reacting to own neg. self, is to lash out at those who are more evolved, considerate, warm-hearted and doesn't care how his "jokes' are received. If they had hit a mirror, reflected back like a barb, he would choose his words more wisely. I also feel for your friend who obviously sees in him, what none else do, forget fact "love is blind", have found can also be deaf, dumb and blind. Perhaps she actually feels love or that he is the best she can do or expect. If friendship withers, consider it "her loss", not your's. Everyone evolves, constantly changing, even if some are resigned to be where they are. All happen for reason, not always evident at moment but in hindsight are for the best.I would love to talk with you more, but illness is cutting stamina, fever blurring keys. Hope forgiven if response premature, as that was my fault. Friends? I dearly hope so. I know what it is like to have only couple of close friends, unfortunately separated by many miles, but in constant contact! Sign of true friends, live thru good/bad/horrendous/ridiculous and all come out better for. Sending a small peace offerring! Think of as outstretched hand.

Well, I met this guy 6 years ago. I didn't really want to get into details on how we met because it's a pretty long story. We stopped talking for while because he had hurt my friend. I met him through a guy I knew from my older school who I started dating when all four of us hung out together. I simply thought he was the type of guy my friend would like, so another friend and I decided to set up a blind a sort of blind date and see how things went from there. A lot of drama happened in the entire group (we were originally a group of six people who would hang out) and we lost communication. The only person I kept talking to was my female friend who is currently dating this guy. She stopped talking to him for a few years until recently. I was against her going back with him. He has no job, he doesn't study, he doesn't treat her right, and he's constantly smoking pot (that's why the comment on why he's a loser). I thought this guy was my friend because every time she asks him to hang out he always asks to invite me. We do have a lot of common music taste and we can talk about a lot of things. But part of his way to humor himself seems to always be giving me a insulting nickname. In this case he insulted me very straight forward. He literally called me a guy with long hair and fake boobs. He's the only "friend" that does this and I'm not a little kid to have to stand being constantly mocked. I don't think I need to talk to him anymore. I know my relationship with my female friend will eventually wither away because of my antagonism with her boyfriend, because she spends most of her time with him, but I don't want things to escalate to a larger problem.<br />
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I am not hurt by your response, I thank you for responding. I really do hope I find more friends to get along with. I have a few who are really close, but a lot of times I feel out of place or feel the need to be a in a different kind of environment with different people.

Perhaps you should also weigh your words. Was the context of the comment made, joking? If it was, is it possible you over-reacted, considering you consider him "quite a loser" I also find it interesting, that you would introduce a self-described " not very bright, loser "to a "friend". How long did you consider yorselves friend's prior to this intro. It is entirely possible that you reacted accordingly. I would wonder the duration of this friendship, the conditions unto which it began? I definitely agree with you being offended, but am curious as to what elicited the comment, how well you know both, and if you considered how your words would be received by both. Friendships that stand the test of time are usually built upon a common ground, shared experience{s}, even mutual co-workers. It is difficult for me to decipher your degree of pain as compared to the degree of friendship you have maintained; or were they both aquaintances in which you found yourself holding on to in a time of loneliness or loss! I do not intend to hurt you but comfort you by perhaps suggesting taking a step back and re-evaluating how strong your bond is, if you realy have one that does more than fill empty space on calendar. In the event she is a dear friend, I still question your matchmaking reasoning. Please do not be hurt, the world is full of people we have met or not yet slated to meet that will fill our heart and stand by our side, usually when you don't look you are found!