To Many Girls....

Maybe nows alittle late to look back at my life and wonder were I went wrong or even question the things I was thinking when I made the decision, but none the less I am questioning WHY...
I have 4 children whom I love very much but sometimes much is the key word. There wild and clingy and over emotional, moody and competative and overly self centered. Put all this together with taking in account there 4 little personalitys and you have a bad case of the crazies. Sometimes I wish my life was simple, peacefull and less dramatic. Everyday is a constaint battle for attention, affection, instaint gradification and peace. If its not one thing is most definelty another. There are times that I think perhaps having a boy in the group would change the dynamics some but then when im grounded and thinking logicaly thats just setting myself up to single handedly raise another child and probley another girl. Luck never seams to side with me, its like lifes intent in life is to keep me going as fast as I can with no break. On the other hand nothing happens without true reason and porpuse. I believe there pourpose serves more for me then each other. A reminder of what its like being a child, being girly. Being something special to someone other then undesired people. To get in touch with an inner child of mine that has suppressed herself before she ever got out. Strange how things work but even more amazing the power in acceptance. Till then I just have to lay in the bed I made and learn to embrace what I know instead of outwardly fighting it.
Either way I still have to many girls. :)
strz79 strz79
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 29, 2007

fyi the correct spelling is "too many girls" with 2 o's :)