I Have Trichotillomania
i can remember the very first time i started pulling from my eyebrow; i was in third grade, at a new school and it was the day after my grandfather's funeral. after a while, i started pulling my eyelashes and i'd make little piles on my desk. i was so confused, and my mom told me if i didn't stop that she would put me in a mental hospital.
trich has been a constant struggle for the past eleven years and i'm so tired of it. i moved from eyebrows and eyelashes to arm and leg hair, then i started picking at my split ends (i have no idea if that's even related). when i was a freshman & sophomore in high school, i started getting really bad panic attacks as well, which i've read can go hand-in-hand with trich. i never ate because i was afraid i'd get nervous and throw it up & i wore false lashes because i had huge bald spots on my eyes. i'm now in my freshman year of college, the stress level is high & i pick my eyelashes and the ends of my hair on a constant basis; i've had so many near-miss car accidents because i've been so focused on pulling out my hair instead of the road.
the positive light to this, however, is that throughout my experience with trich, i've realized how compassionate most people are. when i was in elementary and junior high school, kids made fun of me because they were ignorant; as i grew up, i started telling more and more of my friends and they were all completely fine with it. now, all of my family, friends, boyfriend, coworkers know and it's not a big deal.
the only thing that's not so fun is that i can feel it getting worse; i'm so dependent on pulling my hair that i get anxious just thinking about not being able to. i don't want to take medication but i hope one day i can just overcome it and be done.
trich has been a constant struggle for the past eleven years and i'm so tired of it. i moved from eyebrows and eyelashes to arm and leg hair, then i started picking at my split ends (i have no idea if that's even related). when i was a freshman & sophomore in high school, i started getting really bad panic attacks as well, which i've read can go hand-in-hand with trich. i never ate because i was afraid i'd get nervous and throw it up & i wore false lashes because i had huge bald spots on my eyes. i'm now in my freshman year of college, the stress level is high & i pick my eyelashes and the ends of my hair on a constant basis; i've had so many near-miss car accidents because i've been so focused on pulling out my hair instead of the road.
the positive light to this, however, is that throughout my experience with trich, i've realized how compassionate most people are. when i was in elementary and junior high school, kids made fun of me because they were ignorant; as i grew up, i started telling more and more of my friends and they were all completely fine with it. now, all of my family, friends, boyfriend, coworkers know and it's not a big deal.
the only thing that's not so fun is that i can feel it getting worse; i'm so dependent on pulling my hair that i get anxious just thinking about not being able to. i don't want to take medication but i hope one day i can just overcome it and be done.