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My Life Because Of Eyebrow Pulling

I’m 19 years old and I plug out my eyebrows. Most of the time I felt like I was the only one in this world with this problem until I started getting the urge to take out my eye lashes. So I went on and searched in Google “I plug out my eye lashes”, then I came across the world “Trichotillomania” I read the entire article and started crying. I was not alone after 11 years I finally felt some compassion. Recently I’ve been trying to find out about people that have the same urge that I get. However, I decided to write this and express myself about most of the things I’ve been through because of my disorder. I was about 8 years old or so when I was looking at myself in the mirror and plug one eyebrow out. My mother thought it was funny because she thought I wanted to be a grown up. However, I still can’t remember when the second time I did it was. I just remember I couldn’t stop afterwards and still can’t today.
One time I was in ps.98 and I had a friend named Rosa. We were very nice friends until one day me and rosa and someone else who I cannot remember were sitting together. Rosa and the other girl were passing a small piece of paper back and forth. I felt as if they were talking about me. And all I remember was that when the girl read the piece of paper she looked at me and laughs. I quite don’t remember how the piece of paper got to my hands but it was folded and Rosa had written “no eye brows” in Spanish. That I remember that was the last time we spoke. When I came out of school I showed it to my sis and when my sister went to confront her and her mother, Rosa denied everything.
I remember that when I was young my mom use to put socks on my hand before going to sleep. It might sound funny but it kills me inside when I think of it, as I write tears start coming down my eyes. I felt so alone and still do. There was one time when I went with my grandmother to C-Town and the cashier lady asked my grandma right in front of me if I had problems and why I didn’t have eyebrows.
I was so ashamed going out. I felt like everyone was staring at me (they did). So many people would literally come to my face and ask or ask right in front of me to the person im with. Like, acting like I don’t listen or I’m retarted. I found my mom crying many times at night. I’m pretty sure she was embarrassed to have a daughter with no eyebrows.
There was one time, I was walking home when I was in the corner of 207 and Lianabell and Jenny yelled from the 5th floor “Yasmil no eye brows”. I suffered more when I was in Junior High school, is.52. I was chubby and people would make fun of my eyebrows and make fun of my weight. Most of the time it was indirect because they made believe they were my friends. Students would stare at me and sometimes even teachers would ask why I didn’t have eye brows.
There was only a few times when I let them grow. One time was when I decided to take out my passport, I was 13 years old and I was happy that at the end of the school year I was going to go to the Dominican republic with eyebrows. However, I only lasted a few months, by july I had no eyebrows.
The second time I let out my eyebrows grow was after a few months of meeting lito (my boyfriend). I couldn’t believe that a guy was interested in me and I had no eyebrows. But my family would tell me to let them grow because he wont like me with no eyebrows. I let them grow for the summer, but slowly I pull them out starting of from the bottom then the corners and finally the center. That was the last time I’ve let them grow. And that’s when things got a little better.
I was about 15 or 16 and I didn’t want to come out my house. I was depress becauseI had no eyebrows and I didn’t want nobody to see me. I was in the bathroom crying when my sister came in an decided to paint my eyebrows with a eye pencil. She did a terrible job because she did it thick and very dark. I felt like a witch. I started even crying more because I felt like the only solution to looking better was letting them grow. As I started taking the paint out of my eye brows I noticed that there was a grayish line on my eye brows and it didn’t look so bad. So I took the eye pencil and shaded a little more and guide myself from my eyebrows shape. My eyebrows were very lightly color but it was better than looking bold. When I got to my grandmothers house everyone looked surprise. Since then, I have become a pro in painting my eyebrows. I’ve done many nice shapes and nice colors. But It still makes me feel like I look older.
As years passed, I notice that I been plugging out my pubic hair. I’ve done it before around 13 years old but only a few times. It started getting worst when I was about 17 or 18. I plug them out while asleep or when I’m in the bathroom taking a ****. I don’t go deep enough, I only do it write under my belly on the pubic part. I hope you didn’t get gross by this but what can I do. All I know is that I do clean my hands and is only on the top.
Also, everytime I feel something on my eyes or eyebrows I tend to slightly pull all of my eye lashed but only until I feel one come out. I pass it through my mouth to feel that I got the grip. Everytime I pull out my eyebrows, lashes and pubic hair, I pass them through my mouth just to feel satisfied.
I forgot to tell you that when I was about 13 years old I use to plug my hair out but only a few times. It only happened when I felt a little bump or a hair curled.
The bad thing about taking out my eyebrows is that I wont stop until I get that little dark hair that im aiming for. Since I rarely have any eyebrows I would go for the small roots coming out. Sometimes in the night I would feel blood running through my fingers but the pain didn’t bother me. For some reason I like the pain when I would bleed from my eyebrows. When my family would ask me why I has a bruise or a cut on my eyebrows I would tell them I popped a pimple. Until one day they told me that I’m always getting pimples on my eyebrows because I hardly have any pimples on my face.
What bothered me the most is that every time I either scratch my head or have my hand in my face my grandmother and mother always tell me to stop and they always catch me when im not doing anything. There has been time when my eyebrows would get sweaty and since I didn’t want the paint to get off I would try to scratch. Sometimes I would play with my mustache and they would always make it seem like im plugging them out. It made me feel like they thought I cant even touch my face because they would think I was going to plug something out.
Moreover, since I paint my eyebrows everyday. I’ve been a little in denial and sometimes I feel like im perfectly fine. When I take a shower the first thing I do is paint my eyebrows. I would hardly be in my house with no eyebrows. I feel like im hiding it so much that I feel like im perfectly fine. However, I do my best no to stare out myself when I don’t have my eye brows painted. I wish I can find somebody that has the same issue or similarly. Because everytime I go online all I see is people that pull their hair and stuff. I would prefer to find someone that actually has no eyebrows. Some people online only pull them out sometimes. But I pull them out everyday and it makes me feel good that im being satisfy and nobody looks at me wrong or makes fun of me because I look like I have tattoo eyebrows and a lot of girls out there have that also. I only had a few people ask me if I had them tattoo but I would sometimes tell them is painted. I hardly ever told anyone that I have an urge to take them out. The people that know I take them out is those people that knew me when I didn’t have them painted.
yasmilg1 yasmilg1 22-25, F 23 Responses Sep 26, 2010

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I too do thisi have to pencil them back in before I go out to the shops or work or just generally outside. I plucked them nearly bold once or twice also shave legs underarm and pubic as can't stand hair there but as eyebrows are noticeable had to pencil in. I'm unsure why I do itim usually on my own when I do it I was even starting to pull out my sideburns even though painful but pain didn't really matter after awhile. Crazy I know I think some of this stems back to early teen years as my mum would constantly be on at me to ' make the best of my self' I had a few spots not acne but a few I'd start picking them then my hair pull would begin and id be afraid to leave the house without foundation afraid others would say things that m y mum would say. ...she'd be always on a me to wash my hair or have it cut short or something so guess this may be the route cause.

I never knew there were others like this in society. I never even knew this was an actual condition. In fifth grade i started pulling out my eyebrows. I was so embarrassed and i would ofter try to cover them up with my hair. For a couple of years i just couldn't stop. I would do it at night as i would fall asleep and then i would wake up with choppy patchy eyebrows. My mother would gently ask me what was wrong and i would say it is just a habit. My Dad would yell at me saying how ugly i was and that he was embarrassed to call me his own daughter. I would cry and say that I'm sorry and that i would never do it again. But all that stress made it even worse and they ended up sending me to therapy. After years they finally got the results they wanted. But i secretly know it is still there. Sometimes i wake up with a patch or two but i cover it up with mascara in fear of my fathers hurtful comments.

Me reading this feels like it's my self that has wrote how I feel and what I have been through, I have had the problem since I was about 8 to, it started with my eyelashes then the my eyebrows and then to other bits like my nose hairs and stuff, people didn't believe me that I did it in my sleep till my brother noticed me doing it when he woke up, I also do it when I'm stressed!! I have tried many times to grow them and feel pritty but I never can people used to come straight in my face and say nasty comments I used to go mad or cry and walk off, now I have realised that I'm different to others, this time I'm really trying my hardest at the minute I'm doing good feels weird but I'm trying, I really didn't think there was anyone out there like me I felt the odd one out, to read your story I don't feel alone.. Thank you for sharing this..... No matter what it's what's on the inside that counts not outside.

hey there. im from Canada. 23 year old female who has been living with this condition pretty much since the age of 11. I pull out my eyelashes, eyebrow hair (well what very little I have left) and body hair. the only hair I don't pull is the hair on my head. I have permanent makeup done on my eyebrows and its been a great sense of relief. though I still wish every single day I had my real brows....*sigh* ah well it is what is right. I have gotten ALOT better at controlling my urge to pull my lashes. Ive gone through periods where I have literally had NO eyelashes. these days I generally only pull 2-3 out a day. and can still have full looking lashes with mascara. I know what its like to wake up feeling ugly. sometimes I still feel shy in social situations even now that I have permanent makeup. sometimes people ask questions. however for the most part I've found people are understanding and just curious. I am quite satisfied with the permanent makeup however I originally wanted hairstrokes or the feathering technique done as it so natural looking, though unfortunately my skin for some reason did not take and it ended up very blended. that is the only downfall you never know how the skin will take to it. I am happy to know there are other sufferers out there. we are so strong! =)

I do, too.. I only pull my eyebrows and lashes now, but I used to pull out all my hair, so that I was bald and had to wear a bandana for 2 years and had to cut my hair very short when I was like 14. But fortunately I healed on that part. But I have to pull out the eybrows and lashes every day, and sometimes it takes me 3 hours until I manage to pull out one piece of hair, and my eyebrows are bleeding so bad but its so satisfying... But my lashes are the worst, because I usually end up with an eye infection when my eyes feel like theyre gonna explode out of my sockets and I cant even go anywhere cos they hurt so bad....and every day I decide that I will stop, but than I go: ohhh, I'm just gonna get one piece of hair, than I go on for hours, of course:((( I really wish I could be pretty when I wake up without putting on a load of make up, and having scars and scabs all over my eyebrows, but it seems like its never gonna happen... Its so weird that when I started I didn't even know that this condition existed, and every one tought I was crazy, it was such a relief when I found out like 5 yrs ago that I wasn't alone. I wish we could all get rid of this BS!!!

Yup. I pull my eyebrows too. I had a phase during my teens where it was eyebrows and pubic hair... Due to recent stress and anxiety I've been pulling my eyebrows everyday. I literally have patches and its so embarrassing because my mother points it out to me on a daily basis. I've also become a master at painting my eyebrows.. I always get compliments when I do them in different shapes and shades.. I get such a rush, but then I wash my face and I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is missing eyebrows :( I get so depressed.

Yea I'm very touched by your story. . I'm 36 n I have been pulling since I was very young. .. it started with hair pulling the older I got I started on my eyebrows n lashes. . I also draw my eyebrows on... a couple times I've pulled pubic hair. .. about 5 yrs ago I started pulling the hairs out my knuckles. .. only a couple ppl in my life know what I do. . I'm glad you had the courage to tell your story. ..

Your not the only one. I do the same thing. It started during summer. I forgot how. But it doesn't end. People don't understand how hard it is to stop. They say why don't you just stop pulling? The thing is you can't you do it when your sad, depressed, anxious or anything! I pull out my eyebrows and eyelashes. Oh the times I wish I had my beautiful thick eyelashes back. And my amazingly thick eyebrows... It's almost been a year and I hope to stop before the next summer ends when I go into high school... Email me if you'd like or anyone that has tried to stop the urge of pulling....

Hey thanks, I have stopped pulling my eyebrows but I'm working on my eyelashes, I'm so glad to have my eyebrows back if u need any tips please let me know. It's all about self control

Help me with self control

How long did it take for your lashes to grow back

Good for you! I used to be able to stop myself before. One time I did stop for a month or 2 and my eyelashes had almost grown back and my eyebrows were back. But that changed. It's like when your so close of loosing the habit, something always brings you back. Right now on my right eyebrow half of it is gone from last night. And I hate penciling it in. I wish I could just stop.

It's so hard to stop I never use to pull my eyelashes until less than a year, so now that I finally let my eyebrows grow the urge to pull m eyelashes became stronger

I know how that feels. I started on my eyelashes and tried to stop on them. I eventually started on my eyebrows and now they are both hard to stop.! But what I do, I noticed I pull them while I'm In bed at night. I put a heavy coat of Vaseline on my eyelashes and eyebrows at night so it's harder to grab them. It works!

I'm definitely going to try Vaseline!! Thank you!

Your welcome! Also when I put Vaseline on my eyelashes and eyebrows I put some on my fingers so it does the same thing and makes it even harder to grab because Vaseline is on your fingers and eyelashes! But how did you stop pulling your eyebrows? When I draw in my eyebrows I use eyeshadow and after that I put hairspray over it so it won't come off easily when I sweat because I play sports.

A few months ago I had a conversation with my grandma we have a strong bond and she gives me strength, I tried my best to keep myself occupied throughout these months, my grandma always told me to have control over my body and my actions specially when it comes to pulling my eyebrows.. I've always pulled my eyebrows since I was 8 and that's the only thing I've ever pulled but unfortunately a year ago I started wearing mascara and one night I tried to rub off the mascara and it kept bothering me so by mistake I pulled an eyelash and that's when it all began I need use to wear mascara but I did it last year and now I'm struggling with letting them grow

Same, I used to be able to put on mascara 2 months ago but it bothered me because it had clumped and the eyelashes were so fragile that they could come out with a few pulls. I put special stuff on my eyelashes and eyebrows now. It helps to make them grow stronger and a little faster as long as I don't pull them out.

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Hi gorgeous (yasmilg1)
I realise I am posting a few years after your original post - but like you, it's my eyebrows so I thought I'd be your trichy/dermo buddy!
I cannot go anywhere with drawing on my eyebrows.
I pull my eyebrow hairs out and also scratch over and over and creat scabs when there weren't any - sometimes all I have is a great big ugly scab in place of an eyebrow.
I always wear my hair with bangs to help hide it.
You mentioned about tattoo eyebrows - I have thought about that recently. If I cant stop pulling, maybe there could at least be a way of disguising the mess. sometimes the thick line of makeup just looks far too fake as there's not a single hair.
I think I need to make it my mission to find a talented and sympathetic tattoo artist who could give me confidence.
I do worry that people will notice that some days my make up is more obvious/more lopsided...
One day a few years ago, I forgot to draw on eyebrows (got distracted getting kids ready for school) and realised when I got to work. I was very distressed and went around asking other girls if they had an eyebrow pencil.
I too do my eyebrow makeup before anything else - sometimes, it stops me picking for a few minutes as I don't want to rub it off.
My husband and daughter are very understanding and gently remind me to stop if they catch me going into a picking/pulling trance.
I do notice that when I'm stressed/tired/bored/distracted/sitting still, my eyebrows seem to come alive and itch. I don't think I could stop even if both hands were chopped off.
Love you and know that your not alone - you are not crazy - your brain is just wired to have this loop of OCD (sorry that doesn't really help). x

Hey! Thanks for commenting, I know how you feel, I use to say I was scratching when I was caught pulling, Idk if you read the comment below that I posted, my eyebrows have been fully grown for 2 months already, with the strength of control and mind. The bad thing is that I've kinda pulled my eye lashes slowly so right now I'm struggling with my eyelashes but that's my next step, I never thought that not pulling my eyebrows will lead to pulling my eyelashes it sound disgusting saying it but its something we deal with, if you need any tips on painting then I'm good at it or any tips on how I let them grow. Good luck Hun!!! I'm here as a friend also

My eyebrows are fully grown already!!!

Hey guys, it's been a long time since I've posted a story. In December 2012 my niece Alyce was born. Having no eyebrows made me feel weak and stressed out. My grandma kept insisting for me to have faith and try to let my eyebrows grow and to think about my niece Alyce who was my first and only niece. In about 3 weeks in January 2013 my eyebrows were half grown and I didn't have to pain them much. I kept thinking about my grandma and the things she told me, one day I will have my own child and explaining to them why I have no eyebrows was heart breaking.

So that the urge to pull my eyebrows won't come back I won't use tweezers or anything that pulls the eyebrow. I tend to let my aunt do my eyebrows with a Gillette since I can't feel the pull of the hair. I'm doing everything possible so the urge of pulling my eyebrows won't come back. I have about 2-3 months pull free. The only thing I struggle with is my eyelashes. I've never pulled them so much since this past few months. So my new aim is to let my eyelashes grow! I will keep you guys updated

Thank you Hopey360 for sharing this. Right now I'm going thru depression but I'm trying my best to control the hair pulling. I hope your eyebrow tattoo come out nice, I paint mines so since I got use to it I still don't know if I should tattoo them also. Good luck!!!

Thank you! My name is Jen and I've been battling with Trichotillomania for a couple of years now. I'm 21 and I felt so alone because I would get picked on all the time and my parents would yell at me to stop picking. Thank you for sharing your story because I don't feel as alone. People don't understand why I do it and it's something I can't explain. It's just an OCD thing and I need to do it in order to feel satisfied. I've picked out all of my eyebrow hair and some of my eyelashes. I sometimes will even sit in front of my mirror for an hour with a tweezer and just pick. My trichotillomania got so bad that 3 years ago i became deeply depressed. It was really scary and I didn't know what was going to happen to me. But I fight everyday and pick everyday. It's comforting to see your story and if you ever want to talk let me know. I also pencil in my eyebrows and tomorrow I'm getting my eyebrows tattooed on, so fingers crossed!

Hopey630
Did you get your tattoo done - are you happy with it? x

my daughter does the same thing she is 14 she ueses anything she can from cassette boxes her glasses

first of all, you are very brave for posting your story and as you can see there are many people who share similar struggles with you. I personally understand you completely too. I too have been plucking my eyebrows for so long, seems like forever actually. I am currently 23 years old, and I have had this problem for 4 years. It actually first started when I was in middle school, and because I was so embarassed from my friends making fun of me, I sudenly stopped. but after that it started again. I havent been able to swim at the beach or in a pool for so many years, and many people and friends never understood why. I too get the urge to plug out the black eyebrow hairs.

It has come to a point where even if it grows, its so thin hair and only in some places. :/

like you, I have become a pro at painting my eyebrows as well, but I wish I could just stop. I get so tired for having no eyebrows, its such high maintenance, especially for rainy and warm weathers. I've heard there are treatments...but I havent tried any.

I was actually browsing for products or something that could help my eyebrows grow all over again, and then I came upon your story.



you must be brave too. It helps to always keeps your mind and hands busy with something. I know that crowded places help me alot because I cannot plug my eyebrows in public. and I cant plug my eyebrows when I'm busy with productive things. So always keep moving. I have been told that sports helps release a certain chemical in our body that causes stress when left untreated. And always keep searching. If it'll help, maybe search for a psychologist to help give you some tips. maybe this person can relieve you from your mysterious stress. And I hope to resolve my issues and stress so that I can have paint free eyebrows..

Hi. I'm Rebecca. Im 14 years old. I have the same exact issue. I have no eyebrows at all. My father tells me I have a disease and one time I was so upset I was crying I thought I was the only one and I looked it up and I found trichotillomania on Wikipedia. Everything it said was true for me. I pick my eyelashes also and my nails. I suck at pencilling my eyebrows and my mom says not to color them because it looks really artificial so I'm trying to grow them back with olive oil. I think it's helping. I just massage it on my eyebrows at night and sleep like that and wash it off in the morning. but it really looks like I have no eyebrows. I wish I could just start over with full eyebrows and I just have to try my best not to pick them.

Hi Rebecca, hope you are doing well. This is a very hard situation to deal with but it's not impossible. Since is hard for me to let my eyebrows grow I color them with an eye pencil. By the way olive oil and coconut oil are really good for hair growth. From time to time i make an effort to let them grow. Hope everything goes well with you and good luck .. Always remember that with strength and courage everything is possible.

You are not alone and I don't mean that in a Michael Jackson song sort of way. ;) I have the exact same problem and I mean exact. I have been pulling for give or take 18 years. I stick to short stubbly hair and in my mind the thicker the hair the better. Sometimes when I pull I get frustrated after I realize that the hair I just pulled was thin or weak. I always brush it against my top lip to determine the "quality." My goal is to get the one that has the skin and follicle still attached. It's cool, in a temperature sort of way. I have no self esteem because of this and am sure people stare at me. My ultimate goal in life is to life trich free but I don't know how to get rid of something that has been a part of life for this long. I'm sure you understand.

Thanks for commenting. I'm glad I'm not alone and I have people like you that understand what is like living with this everyday. Recently I let my eyebrows grow and was able to go to the salon and get them shaped. Sadly a month later I got the urge to pull n couldn't stop. Don't give up on stopping. I won't give up until I'm completely cure. Best of luck to u too.

I was happy for you when you said you'd stopped for a few months. I too was proud when I managed not to pick/pull a couple months before my wedding.
But no matter how pleased I am when I am free for a few days/weeks, it still comes back :(

Just made an account because of this story. Wow, I can't believe this is a real condition! I pull on my goatee and mustache , I'm tired of it. I'm getting better though, chewing gum or chewing a toothpick kind of helps for me. Knowing that I'm not alone also helps.



I'm so wierd. I went from from a really bad nail chewing habit, to mustache pulling. Reading this story really wakes me up. Don't be ashamed of going out. You're way to pretty to have that kind of feeling. That's only going to build up more insecurities. I hope you find some help. Thanks alot for sharing this story. Best of luck.



-Ulises

Thanks for reading my story. I battle with this everyday. Recently I let them grow for a month but my anxiety kicked back and pull ten off. I'm glad that my story inspired you to subscribe to this page. In also new at this, sorry for responding late.

I know what you are going through. I just recently posted a story about my 12 years of trich. No, we may never truly stop but I found something two months ago that works for me. I went to see a psychologist who told me it was due to anxiety issues and prescribed me medication for it...whereas my child psychologist had said it was OCD although all he gave me was medication for ADD and depression. Anyhow I no longer have the urge to pull and quit a month ago...all of my facial and pubic hair has grown back but I will pick the hairs that are off the growth path because it satisfies that old obsession. I am also using products I bought online called Brow Revive and Lash Alive, which help restore and grow over plucked hair. So I think everything helped, not to mention I'm simply too tired to do it anymore...I'm just done. In the meantime, I covered it up with eyebrow pencils and fake lashes, it takes away that embarrassing stress and help keeps your mind off pulling. Anyway, I feel your pain...good luck! Just know if you get them tattood, the hair follicles will be permanently damaged and they may never grow back.

Thanks alot for sharing this with me. I also feel that u pull my eyebrows because anxiety issues. I have been in denial to go see a therapist but I will eventually have to make the mood to see one. Not so log ago I let them grow and had them shaped nice but a month later I got the urge to pull them off. Can you give me more information about the lashes and eyebrow revive thing? And best of luck to you. I'm very glad you found help.

didn't know about hair follicles being damaged by tattoo - is this something a good eyebrow tattoo artist would know about or mention?

You both are the same as my daughter. She pulls her eyebrows and eyelashes but not from her head.



Now, she's made a big switch. For the past two years, she hasn't pulled at all, instead, she picks at her skin. It seems to give her that same sensation and relief that pulling hair does.

Thanks. I also pencil my eyebrows. I never go outside without them painted. Sometimes i pull my eyelashes but not so much. I have done it on the pubic area for some time but my main target is my eyebrows. I dont pull my hair only about 2 times. Good Luck To you too!

I pull out all of my eyebrows and some of my eyelashes. There have been periods when i have done pubic hair but I've never done real hair. I think it's because my real hair is too fine so it's not the same feeling. When I pull the hair I rub it against my lips, so somewhat similar to your mouth.



I also always pencil in my eyebrows. I'm actually looking into getting eyebrows tattooed.



I've had it for 13 years and have recently accepted that it's not going to go away. But after living with it this long I'm ok with that. Though to be honest I always have them penciled in and not even my own husband or family has seen me without the makeup.



Good luck to you, and know you're not alone!

Thanks alot! Well i live in New York i still dont know if theres any workshop i can attend to here. Thanks for your comment!

It's a very difficult condition, try to contact the Trichotillomania Foundation in California. They have workbooks and reading material to help you through this. Wishing you all the best!!