12 Years Of Trich Misery

My miserable journey with trichotillomania started when I was 13. It started with an eyelash that was bothering me, so I went to the mirror and pulled it, it felt good and gave me a sense of accomplishment because I fixed what was irritating my eye. It was the start but I didn't really fall into it until a few weeks later, when my parents decided to separate. I went to live with my mother while my brothers stayed home with my dad. I started gently pulling on my eyelashes when I got bored or while doing a mindless or stressful activity...such as watching tv or doing homework. It soon progressed to my eyebrows, I was obsessed with pulling hairs that looked like they didn't belong...imperfect, which lead to pulling the rest. I had soon pulled all of my eyebrows and eyelashes, the only ones I was not driven to pull were my bottom eyelashes. So, feeling embarrassed and ashamed, I tried to stop, so I turned my attention to pulling my pubic hair...a place no one else would see and thinking it would take my mind off pulling my facial hair. This did not work and instead I ended up pulling these areas for the next 12 years. I didn't even need a mirror, I would just zone out when I was bored or stressed and I would pull for 3-4 hours at a time...these hours would fly by, feeling like 15 minutes. Yes, you know what you are doing but it's almost like being brainwashed or daydreaming when you do it. My mother always begged for an answer as to why and I had no such answer, there was no reason, just like people who bite their nails for no reason. I tried seeing a psychologist, who suggested I keep busy with puzzles or pop myself with a rubber band on my wrist when I felt the urge, nothing worked. So I pulled off and on for the next 12 years, only able to stop for a week at the max. As a student in college working on my third degree, I decided to see a psychologist for help with my concentration issues. I told him about my hair pulling as well and he said it was anxiety, not OCD as my previous psychologist had thought. So he prescribed me with anxiety medication that I have now been taking for two months...and completely lost my urge to pull a month ago! I don't know if it was just the medicine or the fact that I just got tired of doing it...or a combination of both, but all of my hair has grown back and I couldn't be happier! Of course, to ensure they grew back after 12 years of damage, I ordered a product called Brow Revive and Lash Alive, which help restore over plucked hair, and it does in fact work. So, to all of you that have trich, I know what you are going through and I feel your pain...but don't give up, you will stop one day because you will tire of it, or find a reason, like your first love...which also happened to me this year. In the meantime, don't be ashamed to hide it with eyebrow pencils and fake eyelashes, yes I've done it all...it keeps people from Noticing and takes away that embarrassing stress, which is one of the steps to healing. If you feel better and feel like you have hair, then you are less likely to pull and it gives time for the hair to grow. During the growth, feel free To go to the mirror and pull the hair that is not in the right path of growth, such as a hair growing close to your eyelid...you will get satisfaction out of it and feel good that you are picking hairs that don't matter for the main growth. Make sure these are the only hairs you pull...then get away immediately! Good luck to you all, I hope my tips have helped and never give up.
Shadowfaxx Shadowfaxx
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 22, 2011

Thank you thank you thank youuuu. Seriously I'm in tears. Where I'm from, it seems like I'm the only person with trich. Swear on my life, I've probably met or seen about 5 people my whole life that might have it. I think the first time I pulled out any hair was a chunk of eyelashes in kindergarden, and it kind of never stopped since then and I'm 19 now. My mom bought the same products for me and I kind of saw a difference, but I pulled too much for it to work so I've saved the rest for that time that ill get over the need to pull. And hopefully that's soon. I was also perscribed an anxiety med, so wish me luck :/ attempt number 32652. But seriously, thanks to this I have hope. I didn't think they'd even grow back at all if I stopped. Thanks for posting!!

what anxiety medication are you using? how wonderful that it took away that urge for you! I am going to check out that brow revive product, I think if I could get some new growth it might encourage me to stop the pulling!<br />
thanks for your post!