Keep Going.

Hey everyone.
I know I already posted my official story on here, but I wanted to say something else...
Trich. has been such a huge part of my life for a very long time. I'm so used to my hair pulling that it's become a regular routine part of my day. Everyone who is afflicted with the illness knows how horrible/humiliating/frustrating/shameful it is and I empathize with every single one of you. My heart breaks when I read all of your stories on here. All of you have this defeated tone about your words. Like Trich. has already beat you down and you've given up. It's as though Trich. has the upper hand. But, guys, hear me when I say this:
I KNOW how it feels to have this huge burden on your shoulders because you feel as if you can't tell anyone about this "weird" thing you do.
I KNOW how it feels to tell yourself- "Just one more..."- and then the frustration that follows when you find your fist full.
I KNOW the feeling of hopelessness and depression and embarrassment when you're caught pulling, like you've just been caught committing a crime.
I KNOW the crazy mix of emotions when you finally do tell someone and the look on their face scares the crap out of you.
I know the urges, the relief, the guilt and ALL the other crap that comes along with this seemingly unbeatable disease.
I've been there and I'm STILL there!
But, I am telling you...
There is hope.
There is acceptance where you least expect it.
There may not be an available medication to treat Trich. or even a quick fix worth trying,
But guys, do NOT let this one obstacle get in your way. Don't let Trich. rule your emotions or instincts. Fight against it.
Don't let yourself be defeated or broken.
Don't let yourself feel ugly, because you're not.
You are beautiful.
You are strong.
You are necessary.
Keep going.

JennaFreak JennaFreak
4 Responses May 4, 2011

Do you happen to have a hair piece or wig or do you pull somewhere else? I am looking for someone who can refer me to somewhere I can get a good one

Thankyou so much for posting that, very encouraging. What i just needed. :)

You're welcome <3 I'm extremely happy it helped :)

Do any of the rest of you pull because of the condition of the hair itself? I notice that the roots are all different. Normal-rooted hair isn't interesting to me nor satisfying to pull. But if there is waxy stuff at the root, or an extra-big bulb, or a rough shaft, I want it GONE, I want it OUT OF MY BODY. I also used to find really weird hair roots that were like plant roots in certain patches on my body--all fuzzy and multiple--and I wanted those gone, too. I used to pluck all the pills off my blankets and nightgowns and pull the fuzz off stuffed animals when I was a toddler (for those of you who are too young, many cotton and wool fabrics used to "pill up" when washed--that is, make tiny little hard balls all over the surface). I mention this because there is one theory that in some people trich is an overdone grooming reflex, a genetic thing.

Yes! The condition of the hair is actually really important to my compulsion. The only hair that is satisfying to pull is the short, rough, damaged hair that usually has large roots. I used to do that to my stuffed animals, too! I've never heard Trich explained as an overdone grooming reflex. Interesting theory, though.

This is good to read.

Good! I'm glad I could help in some way.