Post

No More Eyelashes.....

I started pulling my eyelashes out at 12 years old and I remember walking with the guy I liked and this girl shouts out "OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR EYES! SHE HAS NO EYELASHES!!!!" I went to the bathroom and cried there for 45 minutes. It was humiliating. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I figured because I wasnt aloud to wear make up that I pulled my eyelashes out because there was no reason for them. But when my parents noticed 1 year later (13) then they would tell me "don't do that, it's so ugly, that's like cutting yourself." of course I listened and tried my hardest to stop but couldn't! No matter what I did I couldn't stop! It was the weirdest feeling, I would barely even touch one eyelash an I would get this sensation to pull it out. And once I did, the eyelash next to it would get the same sensation. And then the next and the next till they were all gone. I mostly get the sensation at night when im going to sleep and I would be up so late because I would be scared if it would be noticeable and I would get up and check my eyelashes constantly. Somehow I let those ones grow back, but I started pulling out the lashes on the outer corner of my eyes. This way I can fan out the middle lashes to block the giant bald spots. But with the bald spots I put a little eyeliner to cover it up. It's still noticeable but not as much. I'm in 9th grade almost 15 and people always ask me what eyelash curler I use because my eyelashes are so long and pretty. I must cover it up really good because my parents haven't noticed in almost 2 years. But I just learned about my condition Trichotillomania. My boyfriend is also helping me research more because he cares so much about me. Tomorrow i am going to tell my parents about Trichotillomania, and hopefully they will help me get professional help. I feel like I need it big time. Thanks for reading my story, I just had to get it out...
divamak1 divamak1 13-15 3 Responses Feb 2, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

How can i cover my eyes up because i have no eyelashes and i feel embarrassed and i can't use fake eyelashes because my my won't let me! Please help
Ps i use eyeliner but it always comes off... If you have a solution so it doesn't come off please tell me!!!

There is no way to cover it up and people will notice. When I had no eyelashes I would put eyeliner on my waterline and it would make my eyes look smaller and that made it a little less noticeable. But if you want a lot cover up then use liquid eyeliner to make a winged look on the outer corner of your eye. Good luck and best wishes to you.

Good job! You NEED to tell people about it! Keeping a disorder like this bottled up inside only makes it worse. I started pulling when I was 8 years old, and by the time I was 9 I had no eyelashes or eyebrows. I didn't start hiding it till high school, because I didn't have any money to buy what I needed. I started wearing fake eyelashes and drawing my eyebrows on with eyeliner, and naturally, became very self conscious, and depressed. So stop now while it isn't too difficult or before you have no eyelashes like me. I just stopped pulling about a week ago, and I feel amazing. I'm 20...so I've lived a sad life with this disorder...but we can do this together :) I posted a status on facebook about it so that EVERYONE knew. Since it was no longer an overbearing secret that I kept to myself, I stopped doing it. Good luck to you!

Other kids can be so mean sometimes. Trich really isn't as uncommon as a lot of people think it is so you are defiantly not alone. It's good that your boyfriend is so kind and supportive of you. It is always good to find great support. Your parents are probably not aware that what you have is a real medically recognized condition, maybe they will understand more of how to help you if they understand your disorder better. <br />
<br />
Isn't it nice when people compliment you? I wear a wig and sometimes people tell me my hair looks great :) <br />
<br />
<br />
best of wishes to you! &lt;3