I Have a Disorder?

I just found out that I have Trichotillomania today. I found out by watching "My Strange Addiction" on YouTube and searched it up. It sounded a lot like me. I've been pulling my hair since I was in 4th grade and I'm in 7th grade now. I thought that this is just a bad habit and it'll go away soon I just need to resist but after searching this up... I didn't know people had it this bad. My mom and I used to fight a lot and when i pull sometimes in school... my friends tell me to stop. I also pick scabs on my scalp but nobody knows I do this. Truth be told my mom thinks that i completely stopped. I dont like lying to my mom but having her screaming and yelling at me and threatening to cut all my hair off was too stressful. i jst started hiding it from her and everybody else. i wud stop in middle of my homework and just pull out my hair for like half an hour or so. its..sad. i get sad seeing all these strands of hair on my txtbook and notebooks... i wud also see scabs on my bed... im doing it now as i type this. i have never denied that its a problem but its addicting. when i run my fingertips along a certain strand of hair(i have to search for it) it has this bumps and its satisfying. and when i pull my hair out in a certain way or some certain strands, their follicles are different and feel more satisfying to pull. I need to stop. i have this one bald spot on the center of my head. i dont want to go bald. i dont want to worry my loved ones. but they dont understand. they try to help me but they dont get how i feel. maybe... this site can help me. cuz i need to stop. i just dont know how.
miny400 miny400
13-15, F
3 Responses May 13, 2012

My parents don't get it at all, they even have me on meds. And there's a rule at my school too, but if you ask your guidance counselor and the principal, they have a legal and medical obligation to let you wear the hat:)

yeah, don't be scared to tell them. They're not allowed to judge you for this:)

haha guidance counselors cant really judge you for anything. i guess i just dont want kids and teachers to ask why im wearing the hat cuz if i tell the truth, even if the guidance counselor cant judge, anybody else can.

true. but then again, why should you care what they think? they won't matter later in life, and they shouldn't matter now:) know what i mean?

I totally understand. And it will be difficult, try wearing hats:) I wear them every single day. If someone questions it, or questions your hair, just give them a smartass answer. Because they don't know what you're going through. Like Dr. Seuss said, those who mind don't matter. And those who matter don't mind:)

I like wearing hats. I would wear hats even if i didnt pull my hair out, but since theres a school rule about wearing hats, i dont have a lot of chances to wear one. but thanks for the suggestion(:

I thought I was just a freak until I realized it was an actual disorder. It's so impossible to control isn't it? I totally understand the 'zoning' out when doing homework & just pulling, pulling..until you snap out of it & see the pile of hairs you once had. It's so shameful. I've sat in front of my mirror & watched myself pull (try not to sit in front of mirrors too often, you can see the hairs that are best for pulling instead of having to feel around for them) crying because I hated what I was doing. I'm kind of the opposite because I'm slowly coming out to everyone instead of being open at first. I almost always pull alone but if the urge is strong enough i'll do it in front of others. Hopefully my mom will understand, if I can ever tell her, unlike with your situation. I recommend doing more research on Trich & showing that what you have is serious & you really have no control.

my mom searched it up before too but i guess she just doesnt understand...

Nobody really does.

kind of why no one's open about it haha if it were really that easy to understand a lot of people would know about trich