My Trichotillomania Story.

I have suffered from trichotillomania since i was 6 years old.

It started pulling out eyelashes, then hair and eyebrows.

I remember my parents used to shout at me for doing this, partly because they just didn't understand and thought i was doing it for attention, they were totally wrong.

Eventually all my eyelashes had gone and i had a few bald patches all over my head. I used to get these urges to pull out hair and satisfaction but often regret after. Kids at school used to rip it out of me.Back then, I told my doctor back then that my hair fell out, as i was scared to say that i pulled hair out incase i would be in trouble or get shouted at.  They then diagnosed me with Alopecia, which was not true.

Now i think i know what triggered my Trichotillomania, my dad left when i was only 4 years old. I was very unhappy for a while and now i have come to a conclusion that was the case. I'm still unhappy now and even though i see my dad i can't really talk to him normally like you would with your dad, it seems as if i don't know him as there are often awkward silences.

Trichotillomania has ruined my life. I hate it. I used to get called 'baldy' alot. 8 years on from when the symptoms started, my eyelashes have all grown back. The hair pulling is nowhere as severe as it was however i still get the urges and pull out hair every so often.

I feel as if nobody understands me, recently a sibling of mine has been diagnosed with Anorexia. I felt a rush of sadness as when i have a mental illness i just seemed to get punished for it and no sympathy. My sibling is getting alot of help and i feel as if i had hardly any help.

Thinking about Trichotillomania now, it makes me so upset. Could it be due to my dad leaving and the depression caused by that? Could it be genetic as 3 other immediate family members suffer from a mental illness? 2 from Anorexia and 1 from depression.

Thank you for reading x