My Story I Guess

Hi, Ive been pulling out my hairs since i was like 9 or 10. Recently it has been getting worse, i pull more. I started off by pulling out my eye lashes. After I started pulling from there I started to pull from legs. I started pulling I think because I had no friends at the time or at least that's what i thought. When i pull i feel like everything on my mind goes away and all that matters is how that hair comes out and the tension it takes to pull it out, I like it when a lot of the white stuff at the end of the hair folecule come out, it's like a reward. When I was 10 my mom first found out I was pulling out my hairs, she saw bold spots on my leg and threatned me go get help or to stop, of course i didn't stop and I had to go there. They tried to make me stop but everything failed and they just left it alone. It was starting to get better last year when i was 15, but now it has gotten as worse as it's ever been. I pull from all over, anywhere I have hair. I have two bold spots on my head, a lot on my arms, a huge one on my leg and another one my stomach. When i first started pulling i didn't care, i didn't care for stopping it but as i get older it has been affecting my relationships and i feel like its time i actually try to stop this. The more i try the harder it is to resist the urge. When i try and stop i find myself pulling because im anxious about not pulling. Crazy i know. I hate how people tell me to just stop, like its that easy, this isn't exactly something i want to do, i do it because i feel like i need to. It;s hard for me to stop because when i get an urge to do it, i don't care anymore, nothing matters. Then after i'm done i feel so bad for doing it. It is like an on going cycle, because when i'm upset for doing it, i do it again, to forget, to forget that the world is still there. Sometimes I want to scream to people help me! but don't because i know soon enough i would have changed my mind and i'm scared of what they are going to think of me. When i first started pulling i always didn't when no one was around, now it's gotten so bad i do it around people. Although i hate when people stare at me when im doing it, but i can't stop doing it so i have to sit there as they stare at me. It has become sort of like a habit, when i go down for a shower i usually sit on the floor and pull my hairs out for fifteen minutes to half an hour daily. I am 16 now and I thought I was the only one who pulled out their hairs for no apparent reason. That's my story!
ashleymarie000 ashleymarie000
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 17, 2013

We all have our skeleton's we hide from others and your not cutting yourself. I shave all my hair off my body everywhere but it's pretty obvious why I would be doing so. But your young and honestly things really suck! these days and it mite not get better right away. But I'm telling you the true it does get better teen years are so freaking hard. Just have to get past the teens, I mean please come on look at me, a guy and I dress like a 3 to 4 year old little sissy girl and in public, and I have a normal redneck dress like a normal guy at work every week day all the while knowing everyone I work with either knows about me, has seen photos of me or has actually seen me out in public dressed as a little sissy girl. And the funny part about all this is honey I should be such a church mouse and scared of my own shadow and I own my own construction business and all these bad you know rednecks work for me. It gets better honest.

(((Huggss)))

Sissy Krystal

what do you mean by we have skeletons we hide?
And thanks so much, I really hope life is better than this.