Long Time Gone

Um, Hi. well i started pulling during 6th grade. its weird because i can actually remember the exact moment that i did it for the first time. for me, it wasn't a compulsive thing, i just had an issue about being perfect i guess. anyway, i'm starting college in the fall, i'm finely off all my meds! but this past weak it just got worse. it looks terrible and i just feel ill because of the guilt of it. i no longer do it for grooming, and lately it has just been sort of like a habit. you know you do it when your bored or something, but Trich isn't that simple. its and addiction, i would even have withdrawals. my eyes would twitch and i would get worm feelings all over my head, and when i sept i would have dreams where i would pull and when i would wake up, i wouldn't know if it was a dream or not. i went to a hospital up in Wisconsin for three months, two in patent (don't ever do that it is horrible and doesn't work!) and one in out patent which was better. i came home pull free. but after i started school again, i started pulling again. i've been pretty good with it lately, it doesn't run my life or claim a part of who i am, but it gets in the way, you know, when your bathroom has hair on the floor, and you get bald spots and have to where head bands or bandannas. i've never met or ever talked to anyone who has had  this for as long as i have, they all ether started when adults, or were kids and already over it, two years max. i know i'm not just a freak of nature, and it is also really surprising that almost everybody out there at least knows someone who pulls, yet so little is known about it and there are so few treatment centers. whats up with that?
mysound mysound
18-21, F
13 Responses Jun 30, 2007

i have it since i was 1 and still have it now. and im 36 in may

Treatment centers for Trich are definitely growing in number. I used to wonder about that too. It wasn't until a few years ago that people with Trich started speaking out about it and doctors/specialists realized how common it was. Now there are centers for it around the US :) Thank you for sharing your story, I hope you find some peace.

My first time was in the car i was in 4th grade and i was 9 now im 13 and im still doing it i hope i can quit i probobly have it because ocd runs in my family

i also remember my first hair. it was in fourth grade. after that i just kept on pulling. i also have dreams where im bald. doesnt sound like it but its actually pretty scary....

I ALWAYS get pulling dreams where I've pulled out the last of my (VERY few eyelashes, it's looking like the classic 3 eyelash cartoon character right about now :P ) eyelashes without any proper make-up to cover it.

I have zero formed memories of a time when I didn't pull. My mom says I started at age 2. I am 27 years old. I still pull.

The funny thing is that trich has also given me weird dreams, but instead of pulling it's been nightmares where make-up has wiped off and everyone can see what I've done. Best of luck!

I am a twenty seven year "pulling" veteran. Or trickster. Or whatever you want to call me.<br />
I just live with it - I have a full life, with a great career, hubby, children...<br />
But sometimes, I get so TIRED of it. I went to all the "voodoo" doctors in Georgia and stopped taking all the meds in 1994 (prozac, anafranil, etc) to just "live wit it."<br />
There is ALOT of help out there with the Tricotillomania Resource Center - but everything seems to be on the West Coast and not down here in Dixie...

I first pulled in Grade 8, and now it is almost 20 years. I have had pull free days, weeks and almost a month but I have yet to make it any longer. I try to still imagine being pull free someday but it is a day by day thing. Maybe there should be a Tricho Anon group! hehe

hey, sorry to hear that you've had trich for such a long time. I've had it for 7 years, since i was in the 3rd or 4th grade. its gotten better since i've been out of school and also since i've been in therapy and i've learned a thing or two on how to handle my anxiety. trich is a way to focus or heal yourself from whatever anxiousness you are feeling, it is mostly impulse. i used to get withdrawals also. my head would hurt and if i moved my hair a certain way it would seem to desperately scream to be ripped out. it felt like my head needed to breathe. i have no eyebrows or eyelashes and i usually have to wear make up to disguise what my face really looks like, and i am so ashamed. i feel like a naked rat or something. i used to wear bandannas but people would rip them off and tease me until i finally had to get a wig. my hair is grown back and looks beautiful but im still trying to work on my eyelashes and eyebrows. i hardly ever even notice that i'm pulling them out! i agree also that inpatient sucks, that was the worst experience i have ever had! anyway, i really hope things work out for you and you stop pulling. i promise you it is defeatable, and its alot of work, but the best feeling in the world is when you can run your fingers through your hair and not have to worry that you might be out casted becuse of how you look. again good luck!!

I've been doing it since eighth grade, and definitely remember the first hair I pulled... I started with lashes.

I remember my first "pull" also. I was standing in front of the refridgerator. I was 10 years old at the time.

well if it makes you feel any better, I started in first grade and am now in my forties and still dont have a handle on it! I pull eyelashes and eyebrows, so it has a definite effect on my self confidence in public. I also remember very clearly the first time i did it, isnt that strange?