Since I Was 9

I started pulling my hair out at 9 yrs old. I remember sitting in a chair at my grandmas house and just pulling out my hair. It got really bad when I was in sixth grade. But when high school started, I stopped. I don't know if it was the fact that I had school, work and soccer and just never had time to think of it??? Once I started college, I never pulled! But just within the last year, it has started again. Specifically in the last 7 months. I just moved to GA and all I do is pull. It is difficult because I have to hide my hair. The top of my head is pretty much bald! I get so sad, because all I want to do is have my hair colored but I can't, I want SOOOO BAD just to get my hair cut, but I can't,. I just don't know what to do anymore... I'm 23, and frustrated! I am the girl who LOVES to get her hair done, and look pretty :) but I am stuck wearing hats so that people don't see it. I have never met anyone with it either, so I feel alone!

queenmarie65 queenmarie65
22-25, F
7 Responses Mar 6, 2009

I have some advice for you about not getting your hair cut and colored. I pull my hair out and I am bald on the top of my head too. I just wanted you to know I get my hair cut and colored very often even though I have my problem. I have had the same hair cutter for three years now I love her. Her name is Robin and right from the start she was understanding! When I get my hair cut and colored I feel really good and it helps me not pull as much because I feel prettier. If you were to go in and get your hair cut and colored maybe it would do the same for you. <br />
- The High Schooler

I pulled my hair out one by one on the crown of my head when I was in elementary school mainly. the hair regrew in a strange pattern which I still try to cover by combing my hair over it. I've pulled later in life during periods of extreme stress and anxiety- after Mom's death, my divorce, job strees, etc. I pull from private areas as well. Several nights I woke up and was pulling out my eyelashes. I often wonder if I'm trying to cause myself pain- punish myself in some way. I'm not a cutter type. Pulling is a well-known disorder. Take care and find some treatment. You deserve to show off your lovely hair no matter its condition!

Maybe its just way way you gain control over stuff without even knowing it. It may aswell be that much easier to pull out if your diet is poor. Your hair may not be as stong. So it breaks easier.x

You know... its interesting that you said that. .. It started with the hair issue.. but in college.. I never pulled my hair.. but I also stopped eating... Now.. let me sum it up to I am a big girl :) but I went my first year of college without a bite.. Now, instead of pulling my hair.. I inturn starved myself.. I lost a lot of weight and ended up in the hospital. It was both self harm... but I feel that now.. in the past few months.. I wont eat for several days almost to punish myself for the hair pulling that I just cant seem to be in control of!

Lol, Me to. I should go for a run. i just never have the energy. lol I get what you mean. I used to self harm and I have bulima and its triggered when I don't feel in control. Because I am in need of control. Its so hard to stop. x

It used to be urges when I was really stressed between all the jobs and school.. The only thing I stress now.. is school and my Best Friend in the Marines.. I do it sometimes almost not knowing.. just a natural habbit. Ahh.. I used to run about 10 miles a day for soccer.. I should try that again.. get me in shape too :)

Bless, I bet your not alone. I'm sure there are others that do the same. There are great people on here to chat with. Are there things that trigger it? Maybe you can find a way when you feel the urge to pull go for a run or something. x