It's One of My Addictions

I know the first step, and probably the best thing to do, is to admit it and try talking to others about it.  But as with any addiction, it can be terribly shameful.  I believe that i do it now because of stress and anxiety, but when I started about 6 years ago I was addicted to meth.  I have a scar on the top of my scalp about the size of a pencil eraser, and because of that particular drug I would get a weird crawling sensation there and the hairs started to take on a strange texture.  I had to get them out, no question about it, so i would use the tweezers to make sure i got precisely the ones i needed to.  It got very bad at times, big bald spots of a couple inches or so.  I didn't even realize it when i would start pulling.  Part of me felt so ashamed and part of me just didn't care because I was high.  I haven't used that particular drug since 2006 so now I only do it with my fingers and the spots just look thin, not bald.  I have a hard time stopping myself when I'm under pressure, and sometimes I do it when I'm really into a book or thinking deeply, but I want to and NEED to stop so badly!  My heart goes out to all of you and if you have any suggestions I welcome them.  Thanks!

pitbullbeauty pitbullbeauty
31-35, F
Mar 18, 2009