I Don't Remember When It Started.....

I don't know when I started pulling my eyelashes. I know it was back in middle school somewhere. It seems the pulling is usually emotionally triggered. But sometimes it takes something as simple as an itchy eye to get me started. Today it felt like an eyelash was hitting the lens of my glasses. So I started in. The area I usually pull was growing back nicely until today. :( I only pull in one small area of my lids so I have "bald" spots near the center of my eyelids. I usually use my fingers to pull, but when I'm at home, the tweezers come out. I can selectively pick which lashes that way. I've tried to direct the pulling to elsewhere on my body, so now I also pull the hair on my lower legs. I still pull, but I try to focus on my legs since I shave them anyway. It doesn't always work though. I'm usually end up back with the eyelashes. This may sound silly, but the pulling on the lashes has a totally different feel than the pulling on the leg hair. There are times I want that eyelash pull feeling over the legs. My mom is always on me to stop. She tells me that it looks horrible. First off, tell me something I don't know. Secondly, I tell her I can't stop pulling. Her response to that? "Well try." She doesn't understand that it's a compulsion, almost like an addict after he gets those drugs in his system. He just wants more. That's how this is for me. I really need to get my eyes examined because I know I need a stronger perscription, but I'm too embarassed to go. I was on my way with grow-back, but I screwed that up today.
DietIcedTea DietIcedTea
36-40, F
Mar 23, 2009