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Too Stubborn

5th grade. That was about 7 years ago. At first, it wasn't compulsive, but i had other habits that were. My other habits were biting my nails, over scratching, and picking at little bumps on my arms and legs.

I remember the night when i knew it had became out control. I was watching TV, unable to sleep, and unconsciously pulled out virtually all the hair on my crown, vertically and horizontally, creating perpendicular lines. I became sick with what I had done. I immediately called my mom to my room, shocked with what I had done to myself. She was surprised and seemed overwhelmed. I wanted to cry and hide. My embarrassment was indescribable.

A few weeks later, my mom had done some research to try and find out what my issue had been. She found that I suffered from Trichotillomania, a OCD related disorder.

Growing up, I've always been stubborn, not wanting help and trying to figure things out on my own. I refused to face the fact that I had an issue, and pushed it away. I lived this way for years, and its to the point now where I need help, tips, and support.

I am hoping that talking to people with this shared disorder will help me find a way to heal, and maybe help others on their own way to recovery.

peggysue513 peggysue513 18-21 1 Response Apr 27, 2009

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If you are now ready for help and open to it, I am sure that you will start seeing improvements in several areas at once, b/c attitude is THE most important thing in changing your life! I think there are support groups out there as well as therapists who specialize in these kinds of situations. Not everything you describe is necessarily an OCD condition. Some are just bad habits that many have, and are able to change -- like biting your nails. I did that badly as a child (an anxiety symptom). As a teenager, it became a vanity issue, and I stopped on my own w/ no outside help. Attitude. My son started pulling his hair out at the crown in the first grade. The dr gave him a mild tranquilizer (it was also an anxiety issue)for a reasonable time. His teacher realized that he was so bright that he was bored silly, and developed an enrichment program at school. It started b/c of an severe attack of chicken pox. He had them in his hair and they itched.<br />
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A lot of OCD issues stem from anxiety and control issues. If you can focus on the cause, you can resolve a lot of the results. Hang in there! Be open and responsive to those who want to help you, and you will soon be on your way to feeling better! Good luck!