Fed Up With Trich

i've been dealing with full blown trich for 5 years now...(i cant believe i'm writing this, i'm actually for the first time accepting the fact that i actually belong to a group about this)...it's so hard to actually admit that this is partly what i'm characterized by...but it's me...i repeatedly pull my eyebrows and eyelashes out to the point that i'm left with literally no hairs at all...i mask all this with an excellent eyebrow pencil from MAC called 'Spiked', as well as an excellent eyeliner from MAC, called 'Stubborn Brown'. i absolutely cannot leave to go anywhere without these two magical pieces of makeup with me (i panic when i can't find them)...and over the years, i've bought MANY of these eyeliners and eyebrow pencils...and it kills me to know that i cannot leave the house and face the world until i've drawn on my eyebrows and put liner where my lashes are supposed to be. it's a constant inner struggle to tell myself to stop pulling exactly when i'm in the process of ripping my hairs out of the root...it feels so good and calms me down...and i love the feeling but i can't stand to look in the mirror after a pulling episode...just a constant tug of war with reason versus feelings...and the feelings always win...it feels good but i know it's bad...still working on fixing the problem...still working on fixing the problem...still working on fixing the problem....still working on fixing the problem.....but it's still there.