Trichotillomania

Since I have learned more about trich I realized that this all started with me when I was three years old, that's when my step dad molested me. I told my mom about it when it happened but she never did anything about it. He never touched me again after I told my mom but she stayed with him and even married him. Twenty five years later they are still together. I have realized I needed to tell my mom that I remember what happened and not only do I remember but that moment in my life plays over and over again in my head every day like a movie. This horrible moment has been torturing me for twenty five years. When I told my mom she cried alot and said she was sorry. She asked me what I wanted and I told her I wanted that man out of my life. I never wanted to see him or hear his name again. She said she would get a divorce and help me deal with all of this how ever she could. I felt relief for the first time in my life. I was happy. This all happened a few months ago and where is my mom? She is still with her husband. I have completely been pushed out of my families lives. I will never be invited to any family get together. No birthdays, no Christmas, no anniversary's, nothing. My mom is moving out of town and I will probably never see her again. I'm not sure what my mom and her husband told my step brother and sister, but they wont even talk to me.My older sister was touched by him to and she is acting like nothing happened.  I just want to scream. This man stole my childhood and now he has stolen the rest of my life and my hole family. What kind of mother marries a man that touches her daughter? What kind of mother chooses a man that touches little girls over her daughter? If anyone ever touched my children I would put their buts in jail and make sure everyone knew what they were. Parents are suppose to protect their children. But not mine. I feel so alone, sad , scared and mad. I don't know what to do. I feel worse now than I did before. So much hate is inside of me now. I'm not hate full person and I always forgive. Not this time, I will never forgive my mom for what she has put me through. Now to start over again on getting rid of my stress. I think this is going to take a while.

crystall crystall
26-30, F
Mar 12, 2010