Its Painful To Share But Here Goes

Not alot of people know my deepest secret but here it is

i have suffrend sents i was 2 years old from trichotillomania . i dont know how it started but stress

seems to trigger mine . if iam stressing really bad here comes the over whelming earge to pull out my hair

it will start with only 3 stranns of hair i will ball it up into a little knott at the bottem of my hair

then the i just have to pull iit out gets so stronger that i must pull it out then to fill the hair pulling

out of my scalp feels so good the pain i know it sounds strange but its what happends. then i do it again

some parts of the hair pulling i cant share . but this will happend over and over ,then it will go to the plucking of hair our

such as tweezing my eye brows i dont pluck them all out the when iam really stressing i will tweeze the pain

away . i dont know how to really explaine how this feels its like ufforia feeling from the pain .

i have went to cutting myself but not manny know this about me . so iam in councling for all the abuse ive suffred

i have panic atacks and i suffrer from psts . i dont know if i'l ever get over all thats happend to me

its like i live my life in a war zone ducking all the time from all the bad memorises . but i'll keep

on smiling .

lunnas lunnas
41-45, F
1 Response Mar 12, 2010

ty for your coment iam in concling lot of my ocd's comes from my childhood <br />
abuse . iam getting better .