This is important... I've tried to commit suicide 3 different times now but I can't seem to cut deep enough or find enough strong pills. I've left suicide notes all the times saying who I love and I'm sorry and such, but I always wake up so I just save them for a reference for the next time and I don't tell anybody. I feel bad because I have a roof over my head and I have a loving mother who I don't want to hurt but yet I still feel so empty and alone. My dad used to beat me, but now I only see him on the weekends. Everyday on my way to school I pray "please god make me get hot by a semi but only on my side where my mother ends up perfectly fine and no memory of me to feel no pain like I do". I want to end the pain I feel... My boyfriend of 1year&11months broke up over one of those stupid late night fights over basically nothing and we haven't talked much since then. That was 8 months ago. I feel so alone without him because he was my absolute best friend. I try to be okay but I'm really not. he has a new girlfriend now and it kills me to see him walk down the halls with her and kiss her forehead like he used to do mine. He was my first love and I can't get him out of my head. I don't know what to do anymore. The temporary pain from a little blade doesn't do enough for me anymore. Alive, or just breathing..? Yeah. I am breathing but I am dead inside.
alliebear1211 alliebear1211
18-21, F
5 Responses May 8, 2014

If you want to talk I am here. You are not alone anymore.

Stay strong girl. Can i ask in what ways have u tried to kill yourself? I want to but i have nowhere to hang myself and i want a guaranteeble way that wont back fire

same .. tried it ..

You could try to talk about it to someone you really love , your mother for example , and someone will help you. I know it can be so hard .... But there will come a time you'll see with no more tears, if only you keep fighting! I know you can do it , see , there's so much bad things in life , but you shoulndt be blinded by time to see the good things ! Stay strong, i know you can do it !

Thank you💕

I hope someone comes into your life to make you feel alive, and loved, and make you want to live and experience more.

Thank you..