It's not easy living with my family. A passive aggressive mother with massive expectations, a psychotic brother who often cracks and goes on rampaged, and a father living at another home, it's pretty tough. I love my family, not doubt about it, but they're so hard to reason with. With mon, she won't even listen and immediately defends whenever I try to tell her anything somewhat bad about her. My brother is an amazing person, but I suppose the strain his intensely demanding high school placed on him and his few times of drug use in school did a number on him, along with my dads violent temper. Honestly, nowadays, my dad is actually the easiest to deal with. He yells a lot and is short tempered but actually listens. My mom and brother have a horrible love hate relation. He loves and hates her, and she does too, but they are stuck in a seemingly endless loop of pain and suffering that has been long on for years. Now for my actual suicide attempt, many times, when I tried to reason with my mom, she would often blow up on me, feeling that my brother had done her a great injustice, but since she was scared of him, she would hold it in and blow up at me whenever I did something a little wrong in her eyes. I attempted suicide on four occasions. On all four, I took the cowards suicide and took mixes of dozens of pills, painkillers, antibiotics, every kind of prescription pill I could find I od'd on it. Unfortunately, none of them killed me. As such, I'm still stuck in this cycle, currently in the lowest point of a big one where my brother beat my mom, and considering suicide again. Thanks for reading...
-Legacy
SCLegacy SCLegacy
16-17, M
1 Response Jul 8, 2014

I grew up with a mother diagnosed with Schizophrenia and a father diagnosed with Manic Depression. I know much of what you speak of.
I've attempted my life about 3 - 4 times already.
It can get better.

Thank you. It really means a lot knowing other people have gone through similar things...

No problem :) I get that. Feel free to add me as a friend. I write about it from time to time.

Ok :)