Hi everyone! I'm really sorry I haven't been on EP in a few months. My life has changed quite a bit.
On April 23rd 2014 I tried to commit suicide. I was completely done with everyone. I got home from school and wrote a goodbye letter to my family and friends. I then took a handful of pills. I started to feel sick and I passed out. I woke up two days later in the hospital. At first I couldn't remember much, then I slowly remembered what I did. I had a reason though. I was depressed. I had so much anxiety that it stressed me out to go to school. I hated myself so much because of it.
They kept me in the hospital for another week to make sure I was okay to go home. When I got home they had to take me out of school and put me on bed rest. I had to have someone with me 24/7. It was mostly my mom and my oldest brother, Josh (23). I started to feel a lot better in May. But then things took a drastic turn for the worst. I started feeling depressed again. My step dad got mad at me and told me he wished I'd never survived because it made my mother upset to see me sad. So I figured if she doesn't want to see me sad, then she won't see me at all. On June 30th I tried again to kill myself. I had an overdose on whatever was in my medicine cabinet. This time they made me stay in the hospital for two weeks. When I got home I spent most of my time sleeping and reading because once again I was put on bed rest. After two more weeks they changed the dose of antidepressants I was on and it helped. I started to feel better again. Everything has had its ups and downs since then. I've made it ten days without self-harming because about a week ago, it was hard to stay positive. I'm doing okay guys.
Linsey14 Linsey14
18-21, F
2 Responses Oct 11, 2014

Welcome back.Happy to see you getting Better. You can count on people here if you want to talk when you are down:)

I loved your story. Stay strong !