I've not really been suicidal in many years, but for a while, late 2007 to mid 2009, I tried every six weeks or so to end my life. I had really bad flashbacks due to waking up during surgery, and I didn't see how I could live like that anymore. Then I met another person who'd woken up during surgery, and she made me make a promise that changed my life for the better.
PeanutsauntieP1982 PeanutsauntieP1982
31-35, F
2 Responses Dec 24, 2015

I have honestly tried to commit suicide a few times because I get depressed that I will never get to be the girl that I should have been born as.

So glad that you did not succeed and are still with us, hope the flashbacks get less and less.

They have. In the beginning I had flashbacks 24/7. Now I only have flashbacks if something directly triggers me. And the nightmares have mostly gone away too.

So glad to read that you are on the mend.

Like I said, in the beginning it was hell and I couldn't imagine living that way forever. But after I met that other Awareness survivor, my life changed, and I found ways to deal with the flashbacks, and ways to control my nightmares. Thank the good Creator for that!