I Actually Physically Withdraw...

I have a really low tollerence to being criticised - I think just because I was never good enough (and am still not) growing up.  I know that some criticism is critical, and can be vital, but that doesn't stop me from feeling attacked by it.

It's just one of my 'things'.  I have so much trouble, and make such an effort, convincing myself that I'm not worthless, and that I am 'good enough', that when someone tells me I'm not - I don't deal with it very well.

Of course I hide it, and no one realises how much it hurts, but it's there.

rockyj rockyj
31-35, F
6 Responses Aug 7, 2008

Consider the source. If its someone trying to help, then try not to take it wrong. I know thats easier said than done. I have difficulties sometimes too. I never feel good enough. I feel like I'm less than everyone else. I feel like i'm foolish trying at things.<br />
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I know you probably won't believe me when i say this, but you are NOT worthless!! We all have worth!!!<br />
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Now if i could only apply this to myself...lol

:-) I agree Karel, that it's the 'shaky' feelings we've learned to believe in ourselves that are an underlying 'zing' in any judgemental situation - constructive or otherwise..<br />
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Must work on those!! haha :-)

Funny, how it really is just all about how harshly we are/were judged within out family units...<br />
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Or too often, misjudged... hurts just the same, though.<br />
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I agree with you, Outoftheshadows, that it's important to reaffirm yourself, otherwise you'd be a miserable mess only listening to others' criticisms.<br />
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It's good (but not good), to have people to understand, and share in similar situations.

Man, I know what you mean. Sometimes criticisms feel like the worst thing in the entire world. <br />
I don't have much to add, I think you said basically all of it, rockyj. I just think sometimes it feels like a criticism is a huge punch in the gut. For me, I think the trick is realizing that "I'm OK" even if I made a tiny mistake, or forgot something, or did something that wasn't perfect. <br />
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In the instances when I am criticized and it hurts, its not always a jealous person. Sometimes I actually just missed something, or was inexperienced and an experienced colleague is giving me a heads up. Those still hurt, though, because in my family, if it wasn't perfect, then man, I really blew it.<br />
I feel like I'm rambling ... I guess all I'm really saying is I know how you feel.

Yeah, thanks... I actually often wonder how important criticism really is (and how often it really is constructive)... possibly it kinda like, when people hide behind the so called 'truth', when they're really just giving a hurtful opinion.<br />
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Again, mostly a jealousy thing. I heard someone say, once, "Mediocrity always attacks Excellence".... obviously, HUGE alarm bells when off with that one! <br />
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Thanks again, boarderline.

Most people criticize out of jealousy.