I may seem so cold blooded and methodical on the surface but don't be fooled for I am more sensitive than I care to admit. It is very hard to let go, the action of taking someone off my circle is about the only easy part. The rest is far more difficult - detoxing them from my heart and my mind so I don't spend a lifetime dwelling on those I have lost. Losing my uncle was the same same way, I still feel I am processing it and I realize and accept that I may spend a lifetime in this processing state where he is concerned. I never want to let go, it is never an easy task or deed to undertake but at times I have had no choice. Given a choice, I would probably have held on to everyone - the good and the bad and everything between. The curse of a memory too good.

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Mar 1, 2010