Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I'm Lonely, Stressed & Sad. Do I Talk Too Much?

I could blame my moving around so much in the past 10 years as a reason for having no friends, but I've never really had "friends". People to hang with sometimes while growing up, but not really a FRIEND.

I've had a very stressful life, but I can't seem to filter it. I thought that maybe I talk too much about me personally. I guess I tend to dump what is going on because it may be the only person I've talked to that week. Then they go away. I tell myself the next person I meet I won't mention things personal, but I do. I can't seem to stop.

I tend to think I have a good sense of humor, but I always seem to make the wrong joke. Or say the wrong thing. Or embarrass people even though nothing was meant personally, or even directed at them.

I have a hard time trusting. Too many times I try to help too much, or even a little, then never hear from them. I've given money, time, help, then nothing. No one calls me back.

I have MS and have too many "bad" days to hold a job. I just don't go out too often.

When I do meet someone, I'm now afraid to want to be friends because I always do something wrong and again, I feel like I'm the one getting hurt. So when the first meeting goes well, I'm afraid to call and trust in another get together.

I thought maybe I was a "toxic" friend even though I don't think I fit, but was willing to try to change. All I find online are how to get away from toxic friends, not how to help yourself if you are one.

I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong. I can't really blame it on my current situation because even when I was healthy and working, or younger, I've never really had a "best friend" or someone who rushed to my side when something went wrong.

So here I sit. Crying. Lonely. Afraid.
SadinNH SadinNH 46-50 3 Responses Feb 7, 2011

Your Response

Cancel

SadinNH, though I am a much younger man I've grown apart from nearly all of my friends and am finding it to be a struggle to hold on to those few that remain. I really empathize with that feeling u mentioned about making a joke at some ones expense unintentionally and even if the subject matter was not even related. Idk i feel like im a funny guy, i can always make people laugh when i want to but that doesnt seem to make them want to be my friend. IDK, hurray for the internet. Im glad we could share these thoughts which would have otherwise been bottled up and only made it worse. Maybe the answer is try to find friends online. That's how the Vatican child abuse scandal broke, a handful of 40 something men met up online and pieced together an international ********* ring of priests with just their share memories over text.

Man I am so sorry. I believe in God (Yahweh) and even though I know he is with me sometimes I feel so lonely an broken and I am sorry you feel this way too. I wish I could make people care more. Most are just choked in apathy.

Man this is EXACTLY me..why has no one answered yet??!