My Heart Hurts.Things are not going so well in my relationship. I'm planning on leaving my fiance. To make things harder we have a son together, he's 11 months old. I have so many fears about leaving him. I haven't had a job in over 2 years. I would have rather worked than stayed at home, but he didn't want me to. I worry that I won't be able to be a single mom. I worry that I won't be able to provide for my son. :( I know other women do it all the time. And it's going to be really hard missing out on his life. And I guess that's a pretty rational fear. But I also worry that I won't be able to find anyone who wants to be with me and I will die alone. Or that I won't be able to find someone that loves my son. Another persons child is a lot to take on in a relationship. I know I shouldn't be thinking about dating right now, and I'm not saying I plan on jumping into something serious. I just worry about the future a lot.
I am so unhappy here with my fiance. I don't think I've ever smiled so little in my life. I constantly feel like crying. Like I am just stuck here, in this situation, and I feel like I can't get out. I want so badly to just leave right this very second. But I feel like I have to wait, and I'm worried I'm going to go completely insane. :(