I don't know why, but everytime I get remotely close to feeling happy, I think of something or someone that has done me wrong in the past and forget the happiness that I came close to. I don't think that I deserve to be happy and I often feel like no one cares about my feelings. I have several who tell me they care and that I am important but I am so self loathing that I can bring myself to believe them! What is wrong with me? Why can't I allow myself to be happy???

depressedmommy depressedmommy
22-25, F
9 Responses Mar 10, 2009

I hope so! I feel like I have been a prisoner of depression my whole life and I don't know what its like to be truly happy!

I'm glad you are going to try it, I had the same problem many years ago until I realized how good of a life I really had compared to most. Realize depression is a feeling, just like you feel hungry, you feel pain, it is one of your main senses and if you can learn to control it, you will be free.

birdamer that is a good suggestion, I will try it! I hope it will work but I do often find it hard to think of anything positive. I guess it will give my brain a challenge!

Instead of when you start to feel happy you think of something bad, try when you are feeling bad to think of something happy. I know it is hard for some people to control there emotions but you have to try to clear your mind of bad things and only think of good. I hope you feel better.

You're welcome depressedmommy! Everyone needs someone to talk to who understands and knows how you feel! <br />
I'm a good listener if you need an ear! :)


Whenever you feel that way you can talk to me if you want, and maybe we can cheer each other up! :)

I am glad to see that someone can relate!

I know how you feel! I do that all the time! I'll start to feel happy and then some horrible memory will pop in my head and destroy all my happy thoughts and feelings!<br />
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You're not alone Hon! <br />
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I just think that it's satan attacking my mind and robbing me of true Peace! You have to resist all those negative thoughts and focus on the positive!<br />
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It's hard to do, but it's possible! :)