Communication Is a Big Problem

I just don't know how to keep communication going. I think it scares me...what people are going to say. My cell phone voicemail and my home answering machine stay full...I hate listening and replying to messages. I NEVER call or e-mail people, they always have to be the one to keep it going....and it's kind of hard when they get no response from me. I don't really know why I do this. It's as if I expect people to read my mind...like I can just stay silent...and they'll know what I want to say. I wish.  It's hard for me to even communicate simple things...like hello, or how are you? I'm serious.

And forget trying to communicate my feelings. When I try, it never comes out right. Then I ignore the person, i told my feelings to. People don't understand why they don't hear from me for long periods of time. I go through these MONK phases(that's what I call them) Where I don't want to talk to anyone.............. I really think I should've been a mime for a living :]

QueenOfHearts QueenOfHearts
22-25, F
3 Responses Mar 6, 2009

Wow its scary how everything you said word for word is exactly how I am. I can't communicate for life of me & when I try or think im getting better it's taken the wrong way & they get butt hurt & blows up in my face so I isolate & keep everything inside. Me communicating seems to do more harm then good!

lol yes Sam...I was MIA again;) My ghost roams around ep...haha I LOVE the way you said that! ...Little sentiments mean a lot to me...like I have thought about you ...the last time I was on here you sent me a greeting card and I'll never forget the few times we've communicated...because my communication is so far and few in-between, the times I do communicate are special to me, even if it is something simple. I apoligize. I'll try to stick around longer this time;) haha you might get sick of me though.<br />
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I think I know what you mean by "too much communication" Depends who I'm speaking to...and what I'm speaking about....I can feel like I'm saying to much...I feel like a lot of what I say is misunderstood... Like right now,I don't want to say to much...because I don't know if I'm expressing myself well at this present moment.... I haven't slept for quite awhile...so I'll just stop now....but thank you Sam for sprinkling your fine words on my post! <br />
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I know all about the Nocturnal greetings...and I'm throwing em' right back atcha girly (((squeezes)) XD

I just feel really bad...Communication has been the reason for the loss of a lot of friendships and relationships. People think I just don't care, that I don't love/like them anymore. I've tried to explain the way I am to some, but very few understand.<br />
I don't really blame them, I think it's really strange that I could be thinking about someone and really missing them...but then they call and I don't pick up the phone....and I won't even listen to thier message. So wierd. Then I don't know if it's like this for you? but the longer you wait to communicate with someone...the harder it gets to reach out to them even if you really want to.<br />
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Sometimes I think it's best not to say anything at all...Sometimes I just wish people knew how you felt with out having to communicate it. You're lucky that you have understanding friends. I have a couple.....but I just feel sometimes I don't deserve thier friendship...like I'm not a good friend...It's not fair that I ignore them they deserve better than that.<br />
I'm glad to know someone understands & I'm not the only one that does a disappearing act :] thanks