It Twisted Me Up And No One Really Gets It

since like, 7th grade, ive been let down a million and one times.
tell me if im just being over dramatic.
but in 7th grade, i had crushes. just like every other normal chick at my school.
but absolutely none of them liked me back.
and then i met this guy named Trevor. he was in 8th grade, but he actually seemed like the first guy i ever ACTUALLY liked, maybe loved.
but then he graduated. and i was left all alone again, and i started cutting.
and eventually, long story short, we got together and broke up.
but before him, i had a few flings with other guys, and they all gave me some bull **** excuse for breaking up with me.
grades, other people, bad influence. so on.
and after Trevor, i finally figured out that im into chicks, im gay.
and i met Trevors ex, Nikki, and me and her rushed into things. we lasted 6 months before she left me for my friend.
and i was DEVASTATED because she told me forever. i trusted her too easily and she let me down, just like everyone else did.
and now i have another girlfriend, her names Desiree, and shes amazing.
shes long distance, and i try so hard to trust her, but she has a psycho ex who still likes her.
and im worried Desirees gonna leave me for her, and let me down.
but i cant tell Desiree any of this, shed think i was crazy
i mean, i tried telling her, but Desiree always said she wouldnt leave me for her ex.
but that doesnt mean it wont happen eventually...
im having trouble believing that something as good as this is gonna last forever.
maybe its not supposed to, but i really want it to.
but i dont think i can completely trust Desiree or her ex. as long as theyre still friends, im going to get hurt again.
b3w4r31b1t3 b3w4r31b1t3
13-15, F
Aug 7, 2010