Relationships

There have been countless of times where people have told me that they loved me. Some have looked me dead in eye as they said it...but oh how that look can be deceiving. After everything is over, it always so happens that they didn't exactly feel as they said they did. This always happens to me. I start to notice it now, when they began to say, "You're amazing, beautiful, intelligent," etc. When I hear those words, no matter if they are flattering, I can't except them as complements. I've heard them too much. They're just words to me now. They don't mean anything.

I don't want to make it sound like I'm insecure, but I just can't trust anyone when they tell me they love me. Most people just say it without really thinking about it's true meaning. And most people get mistaken...most people just love the "idea" of me. Every time I try to share this with someone the response I always get is, "They weren't right for you, don't worry you'll find someone else." I am tired of following false wisdom and receiving nothing for my benefit. I would rather be blinded and walk around aimlessly through on coming traffic, than have to heard another bullshit saying that opposes the inevitable.

How can one fill another person with such false hope, not knowing what really will become? What happens when disappointment seizes to prevail? What happens then?! What other witty saying is there to tell?...

I've always been honest about my feelings towards other people. I don't know why I took people's word for granted when I clearly know that everyone, even I, can be a liar...I guess I just wanted to believe that there were being honest for a change...

I have never felt truly loved. I will never believe that someone can feel love for me romantically. And the only downside about this...the mystery of all this-is not knowing if their truth was really a lie. "I don't love you."