I Have Trust Issues
I've had trust issues since I was a child. Typical reasons as far as I can tell: Military father moving me away from my friends, both parents being verbally abusive, etc. I don't trust anybody. I can't be myself around anybody.
But this summer, I met someone that, for whatever reason, I trusted instantly and was able to be myself around without even trying. I felt like he understood me. For a while, we spent all our free time together, laughing, wrestling, playing video games, having serious conversations, the whole shebang. I introduced him to people I knew at school (college) and they all took a liking to him instantly.
Then things just changed. He stopped spending time with me. If I didn't come find him, we weren't hanging out. He seemed to prefer spending time with everyone but me. So for the past few months, I've just been trying to make things how they used to be, back when we were best friends; back when I didn't have to fight everyone for his attention.
Recently, he began pretending I just don't exist. Period. He wouldn't answer my texts, he wouldn't acknowledge my presence in public, and if anybody mentioned my name he would act like he didn't hear them speaking. I asked his girlfriend what was going on, and after some persuasion, she showed me a text he had sen her. He had basically said that I was too attached and he was sick of hanging out with me.
It hurt. I knew full well that I was extremely attached, but what do you expect from somebody that finds the one person in a sea of millions that they actually can trust and be themselves around? Since this happened, I've basically just been going through the motions. Classes, lunch, more classes, homework, sleep. Over and over. Every now and then I'll break down and start crying, but those moments are getting further and further apart.
I'm tired of being betrayed. I expected the rest of my friends to abandon me eventually, but I thought he was the one person I could count on. I just don't want to put effort into relationships anymore. They always end badly, so why waste my time?
But this summer, I met someone that, for whatever reason, I trusted instantly and was able to be myself around without even trying. I felt like he understood me. For a while, we spent all our free time together, laughing, wrestling, playing video games, having serious conversations, the whole shebang. I introduced him to people I knew at school (college) and they all took a liking to him instantly.
Then things just changed. He stopped spending time with me. If I didn't come find him, we weren't hanging out. He seemed to prefer spending time with everyone but me. So for the past few months, I've just been trying to make things how they used to be, back when we were best friends; back when I didn't have to fight everyone for his attention.
Recently, he began pretending I just don't exist. Period. He wouldn't answer my texts, he wouldn't acknowledge my presence in public, and if anybody mentioned my name he would act like he didn't hear them speaking. I asked his girlfriend what was going on, and after some persuasion, she showed me a text he had sen her. He had basically said that I was too attached and he was sick of hanging out with me.
It hurt. I knew full well that I was extremely attached, but what do you expect from somebody that finds the one person in a sea of millions that they actually can trust and be themselves around? Since this happened, I've basically just been going through the motions. Classes, lunch, more classes, homework, sleep. Over and over. Every now and then I'll break down and start crying, but those moments are getting further and further apart.
I'm tired of being betrayed. I expected the rest of my friends to abandon me eventually, but I thought he was the one person I could count on. I just don't want to put effort into relationships anymore. They always end badly, so why waste my time?
By:
JayEffEych
Age:
18-21
,
Male
