The Risk That I'm Taking....

Everything that I know points to not trust him....

This is where I kick myself to wake up! THE GREATEST RISK IS NEVER RISKING!!! You can sit bak watch life pass you by cause you're too afraid to get hurt! You're bound to get hurt. What hurts the most is doing nothing and finding out down the line dat you're securities was all for nothing and that precious commodity of time was wasted!!!

LIVE! WHy wait til its time to die to live. Trust me! My family ****** me over as a child! I was molested by them, physicaly and emotionaly abused and tortured!!! These are the people who are meant to protect you from all that. I'm 21 going onto 22!!!! Last time I got molested from one of my family members was when I was 20.

Last year I got played by the first guy I ever gave my trust to and body too after the toture I had been through and he played me cause I wasn't ready to lose my virginity!

My friend ****** me over and tried to get with my most recent bf! She didnt evn apologise...

I am one of those people who have every reason to not trust! But guess what!!! I'm not stupidly trusting anyone!!! But I am gona give people the benefit of the doubt. I held onto all this hurt and bitterness towards other people until... Now...

Me and my bf kept arguing... I couldn't trust him... Coming up with excuse after excuse after excuse to be angry at him! Girls, the past... His wording of things... Everything... All night...  Until I took it too far... A place of no return... I was going to lose him... I woke up to myself... Our arguements of my insecurties has become a daily ritual this past month and yet never had he walked away and left....

ASK YOURSELF... What's more important, getting rid of those YOU THINK you can't trust.... or the thought of being alone.... being without them... Waking up one morning wandering... I miss them.... Why aren't they here...

My heart exploded... I came to my senses and asked myself what's more important... My insecurties and past pains... He's not perfect... bUT I'm not either... He has trust issues just as much as I do... HE's had his fair share with hurt and pain... I could choose to lose him because of my fear of the unknown... Or I can choose to put my trust into wat is known... I know I luv him and and as much as I want to fool myself and stir the doubts I know in my heart of hearts that he luvs me.... 

Don't lose yourself and others over the unknown.... TRUST is risk that isn't guaranteed to not hurt when its borken... But it's guaranteed to not lock you down and to free you to be happy.... Trust yourself before you trust others... But TRust anyways... Dnt lock yourself up. In the end you don't lose if they break your trust. They do... And that's their mistake not yours.

I trust him... That's the risk I'm taking... :D iT feels great!

 

LadySoulist

LadySoulist LadySoulist
22-25, F
Mar 3, 2009