Grief And Self Esteem

ABUSE VERBALLY FOR  10PLUS YRS.PHYS ABUSE PAST 3 YRS. MY BOYFRIEND DIED IN OCT.HE WATCHED MY BACK. NOW IAM SO LONELY.HE GAVE ME EVERY THING A WOMAN COULD DREAM OF IN A GOOD EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP.YEAH THERES OTHER MEN I KNOW...NOT THE SAME.WE WERE IN LOVE.

I NEED TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AGAIN W/O TRYING TO GET ATTENTION FROM OTHERS.

MARRIED 29 YRS.NO KIDS.VERY LONELY.NOT COMFORTABLE W HUSBAND PLUS THE REALITY OF HIM HAVING ****  MESSED ME UP WORSE.

I HAVE PTSD AND ANXIETY DISORDER SINCE 94 AFTER A BREAKDOWN. FROM MOVING TO ANOTHER HOUSE.LONG STORY.

SO IM ON DISABILITY AND HAVE OTHER MAGOR HEALTH ISSUES.NEED HIS INSURANCE............HAVE A THERAPIST.BUT ITS ALL TOO MUCH.

IM 53 YRS OLD. HAD THE LOVE OF A GOOD MAN FOR 1 1/2 YRS. O WHY DID HE DIE.

I FEEL DESTINED TO BE LONELY AND UNLOVED.

HAVE 2 DOGS I LOVE. IM A PEOPLE PERSON.........NEED GOOD FRIENDS

THANKYOUABOUT ME

THRIFTSTORE56 THRIFTSTORE56
51-55, F
2 Responses Feb 12, 2010

Your abuse stems from something deep inside you.That you think you were supposed to be punished.The past is the past.what ever you did was only for the both of you.I lost mine in oct also. have 3 kids and before that was severly abused by a husband.you are looking for someone that reminds you of him. different traits to bad we cld not put them all into one man and have the one we loved.im 54 and had the love of my life he passed away when i pregnant with our son.at 24 yrs old.my son had his daughter on Oct 21 the day is dad died.and i am pyschic.Ialso have post tramatic stress disorder am on 1mg nerve pills anti depressents and do other meds.I was not alone when i had my son.because he was there with me.your so called boy friend is also with you. and you have had signs,a song came on that you both loved. that was him.all those things you misplace, lol him too.at this time. he wants you to be happy. but you look in the wrong places.he will send you someone when he know's its the right man for you.who is a diabetic? and theres one i cant mention. Im seeing my self in a mirror right now. i believe i was sent to talk to you. he is at peace. no more running he says.and he does love you .I am a people person had 2 dogs and 1 cat now have 1 dog.add me id love to continue are talk. but not like this. Isnt it strange we had the same kind of life.and i accidently found this place. Happy now i did.im not even happy when its check day, lol you must keep strong.god bless. and get back to me please.

Your friends need you too, please do not change because your husband is gone. He did give you a life and now you are free to expand it. Use your friends to carry on, that is what they are there for.