I Wanted To Run A Marathon

When I was in high school I made a list of all the things I wanted to do before I died. But after eight years with type I diabetes I am lucky to survive one day without assistance. 50% of the time my body is just not behaving the way it should. The other 50% I am binging on high-carb foods because, well, I am going to feel sick anyway. I might as well enjoy myself! Today I woke up after nine hours of fasting to a high of 450. Took twenty units of novolog. Dry-heaved until the hunger pangs hit. Sugar was still 400, took twenty units more. Gave into my cravings at 2pm and ate 2 cups of rice. This is my day-to-day life now. I will never sky-dive, never run a marathon, never carry a child. When I was a little girl I used to dream of flying. Now I only dream that I'll never wake up.
soulchocolate soulchocolate
26-30
1 Response May 8, 2012

Hey, I am sorry your going through this right now. I dont know your name are or the full extent of your story, but i want you to know that your life, has value. and it is worth living for. It is worth dreaming of flying for, and it is worth getting help for, I am praying for you. <br />
Beth