I Want These Horrible Memories From School To Go Away

In grade school i was tormented badly. Everyday in jr high school i was made fun out of so bad. I got made fun out of because of my hair and dorky glasses and because i matured alot faster than all the other kids so i grew boobs fast and got tall faster than all the others. Everytime i walked threw the hallways they always had to make fun of me or say something. Even at lunch time when we had recess. It was so bad i never wanted to go to school i couldn't focus on my work and i almost failed jr high. I always cried everyday it was so bad the teachers didnt even seem to care. I was treated very badly. And the memories pop into my head alot. I sometimes still see the kids who treated me so horrible and it really sucks. I just want to run up to them and punch them in the face. I fantasize about torturing them. You have no idea how bad it was. Now i catch myself watching everyone who looks at me waiting for them to say somthing to me so i can tell them off. I dont like being like this and i shouldnt care what others think about me. Its so hard how i grew up. It was seriously really bad u cant even imagine the things they said and did to me. How does anyone get rid of those memories and move on? I would like to hear anyone else is story's who ever had to go threw this.
Torishu Torishu
22-25, F
21 Responses Jan 13, 2011


Could you sign this petition: change.org/petitions/board-of-education-and-all-educational-facilities-and-municipalities-reform-education-so-that-it-s-fair-for-all-and-not-for-the-elite-few-or-the-dull-many-no-child-left-behind

I have seen some of the people who bullied me in middle and high school on Facebook and just think of what I would say to them if I ever saw them again. I was also always the smallest one in class throughout elementary school.

your so right thank you :)

Time, is the best method.....but you also have to let them go....make new memories and do not focus on what you can not control. Good luck...

Sounds like fun! window shopping is fun but such a tease. Im from IL and you?

I like to travel. Take day trips, and window shop. I also like puzzles, and I love Netflix. So where are you from?

I know exactly how you feel! I always run into my bullies all the time and i just want to run up to them and mess them up! And i do the exact same thing i stick up for others too. But for once i just want someone to stick up for me.

Of course i dont mind. Well i went to beauty school and i wanna get better at hair i keep slacking off cuz i guess i dont have the confidence in myself. I love to party and shop if you can consider them hobbies hehe. what about you?

I have some grudges as well. I was skinny and weak through school. I can only hope to run into some of the tough guys now-I'm over 6 ft and almost 300 lbs. I DID see one guy a few years back, in a restaurant. I started to walk over to his table. I'm not violent, but I did pick up some martial arts. I intended to shove him back in his chair and dare him to get up in front of his woman and everyone else. Then, I saw the babies.<br />
Funny thing. I sat two tables away, ate a meal, and since I look so different, he never knew, not a bit, how close he was to an ambulance ride.<br />
Still, there could be another time...<br />
Here's how I get revenge in the meantime. I don't let other people get bullied in front of me. Never. I have scared the **** out of grown men, who were scaring the **** out of other grown men I never even met before! Do what you can. Commit an act that cancels out something bad. Be charitable. Help someone who needs help. Pepper spray a punk picking on someone in public. Just do. As we all know, there's time to THINK ABOUT IT later!

So, what do you like to do? What hobbies do you have, and what would you like to achieve in your life? I would like to know more about you.That is, if you don't mind telling me.

hehe i know how ya feel!

Wow, I thought you were going to say that your really tall, lol. I am actually 5'2 and 3/4ths. And, I am holding on to that 3/4ths with my life! It is nice to know that not all women out there are towering over me.

Thank you! thats so sweet. Im only 5'2 which is the funny part but i guess that is tall for grade school i matured faster than the other kids i got taller than them i grew big boobies before them hehe basically matured faster and they hated it.

Thanks, and the same goes for you too. You are a very sweet, loving and beautiful woman. So, you said you grew tall at a young age. How tall are you now? I have always been short, which was the main reason why I believe I was picked on all the time.

Wow im real sorry to hear what happened to you. kids can be so damn cruel! I dont think i can ever forgive the things they did to me but i can keep trying to forget. Im glade to hear you staying so strong.

You are right. And, the memories don't go away unless you put yourself in a position of confidence. You have to forgive them for the things they did to you. I have not been able to do that. It was so long ago, that I don't even remember their faces, but I will never forget what they did. I feel sorry for all of the kids who are picked on today. Back when I was being picked on, and beat on everyday, having a tampon shoved down the back of my pants, and being repeatedly slapped in the face on the school bus all the way home. The bus was full of kids both times, all staring at me. That was really bad, but at least no one shot anyone back then, or commited suicide like they do today. That really is sad. If only those kids knew that life does not officially begin until you walk across that stage, and pick up your highschool diploma. That is the way I see it.

im sorry to hear that. people can be so cruel. i guess parents just don't know how to teach there kids to behave.

I had nicknames such as beaker, because of the size of my nose, and it isin't big at all. I was also called cancer head, and carcinogen because I have a high forehead. My hair began to thin on top of my head at a young age.

Your right. I will try these. <br />
It's just so hard because it was that bad. They really messed with me badly. But i cant let them take over my mind your right

Thank you. I cant imagine ever forgiving any of the people that hurt me so badly.

I have bad memories of school for various reasons. I was bullied by a girl but we eventually became friends.<br />
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One horrible memory is of a girl being beaten up by another girl. Everyone just stood round watching. I remember thinking that I wanted to do something to stop it , but like everyone else I just stood there watching.<br />
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I often think of the girl and wonder how it must have scarred her.<br />
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In answer to your question I dont kniow how to deal with bad memories except keep trying to make happy ones.<br />
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And all the time trying to be braver