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Battered Soul..

Such hatred..such contempt…from someone you love…can be unbearable..and whats unbearable? When several million thoughts inflict your mind at the same time like splinters of glass, piercing through your very core and you cry in pain and you feel you are never gonna heal again..then pain takes an ugly form..it starts to diminish until all that is left of it is in incapability to experience anything at all and then you are caged by such lifelessness and such apathy that you question your very existence..i believe that life is good, life is bad…it ultimately depends on what you choose to believe..but you cant control what others choose..and when they choose to ignore you, then the only choice you got is whether you wanna acknowledge the pain or suppress it with mindless activities and mundane questions..if you choose the latter..it means a lot of hard work..a lot of watching movies back to back..talking about life in general…and ignoring that pain in your heart whenever it shoots up…if you choose the former then probably you wouldn’t have to pretend that everything is fine…but then you would have to let your guards down and let that nasty tide of emotion sweep you away until you don’t know which side is up or down and you are caught up in a storm..both outside and inside your mind….the water is gonna thrash you and wriggle you like a cat which has got a rat by its tail…and for a moment you would actually question yourself..is mental pain more agonizing than physical? And trust me it would be a tough call…but you don’t care about the answer..the fact that you arrived at this question at all means that you are in too much pain already..and just like everything has its opposite too, everything that starts arrives at its peak and subsides too, similarly your emotions would subside too..and you would feel as if your mind has been gangraped by obscene thoughts and all that left to your mind are a few shreds of sanity for clothing..and a little consciousness to remember the act pain forever…and as you lie there motionless..all you can hope is for sleep to come soon and shelter you away..
Nishitaa Nishitaa 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 23, 2011

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very introspecting of u.........nyc observation<br />
take care....