My Night Life

Dreams are memories, and memories dreams – in my experiences, they are indistinguishable. I can have a dream, and just as an experience that you have in waking life will trigger certain memories, my dream experiences will trigger past dream experiences via association. It never ceases to amaze me, and for me it reinforces the notion that there is no fine line, if any line at all, between this thing we call our waking life, our reality, and our dream life, our subconscious. Dreams are simply my life on  a different plane, a melding and mingling of images and people and things that are in my waking life, and images and people and objects that I might find on some other plane of reality that I don't otherwise have access to. They combine while I sleep, for I have the power to expel my Self from my physical body and travel elsewhere. I wish to embrace these experiences in full, but upon allowing light into my eyes, they slip into darkness, into the recesses of memory, only to be recalled again via association. Which is why I've been trying my damndest to remember to write down my dreams after each one, but it is insanely difficult to remember the details. My dreams are not of the generic sort, I dont think. They are complicated, intertwined, contain a full cast of characters, and is much like a feature-length film, so I drive myself crazy trying to do dream recall, but if nothing more, I can jot down the players and actors, the concepts, some of the symbols, the setting. I stop short, however, of trying to interpret them. Often, if something is bothering me, it will show up in my dreams – for instance, yesterday afternoon, I received some disturbing news from my mother, news that incited some very conflicting feelings in me – anger, confusion, distress, and a bit of stress - she showed up in my dreams later that evening – we were we were engaged in a terrible conflict that provoked the same exact emotions that I had felt earlier that day. But beyond the obvious things that I know relate to some aspect of my waking life, I am not one to use generic symbols to intepret my dreams because some things, in my mind, do not have universal meaning that is applicable to all. If I see a black cat in my dreams, (which I often do, actually), someone may take that to mean that I am doomed or interpret it as some sort of bad luck symbol because our collective conscious and culture has placed that meaning on black cats. But I don't qualify blackness as evil, therefore, for me, seeing a black cat is to see a creature of beauty, not a creature of misfortune. I am learning to try to characterize my dreams as something that reflects what is going on in my life that I am out of touch with – emotions that I fail to recognize, synchronicity that I fail to pick up on in my consciousness, but that my mind and brain takes in anyway, without my awareness. These things come out in my dreams; it allows me to stay in touch with the awareness that resides below my senses. That is one way to characterize them, while the other way is to take dreams as being a literal experience, a place that my soul, spirit, mind, self goes, where I shed my skin and travel naked, unsheathed, unconfined and explore. In that sense, I want to do more with my dreams. I want to go to Mars. I want to visit with the dead. I want to travel to the future and to the past and change elements, with the hope of it affecting certain elements in my waking life and what I perceive as the present.


Dreams also help me to understand the connection, or lack thereof, between past, present, and future. I've been working off of this theory that time doesnt actually exist for about two years now, but that is only a base conclusion that needs more support - although time does not exist, I experience it, and I want to understand the relation between the illusion and the reality, how time works in my mind and the minds of others. Dream time is certainly different from "real" time, in that I can experience a span of hours or days in my dream, while on the outside, only a few minutes or an hour or two has passed. In order to break time down into its nothingness, I need to know what it is in the first place and how it came to be, and how it interacts with space to create moments, to create the perception of things past, things to be, and things current.

Lately, I've been using a tape recorder to record my dreams after I awaken, which has, so far, been much easier than attempting to write them down, because, by the time I write it out, the details become fuzzy. The tape recorder, I just keep right next to my bed , grab it upon waking, and proceed to hold a conversation with myself about what I just experienced.

I also recently picked up this book - What Your Dreams Can Teach You, by Alex Lukeman.

Irs really excellent. It has taught me some techniques for interpreting dreams and symbols as they apply to me and my experience and life, not in terms of generic, supposedly universal symbols, i.e. falling in a dream = this or that. It teaches you how to deeply interpret your dreams and make them specific to you. Pick it up if you are interested in interpretation.

toexist toexist
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 6, 2008

That is an interesting thought, that there is no time. I seem to live in that kind of non<x>stop flowing existance, only interrupted by things that must get done, and work that must be finished. But beyond that, I float along watching one day blur into another in some sort of neverending nowishness. Not quite the cool Zen version, but unblemished by time. However atrophy has a mind of its own.<br />
In dreams I am often amazed upon waking at how it seems like Ive dreamed for hours. I have these seemingly epic dreams that carry on story lines slow and unchanging in basis for what seems hours. I wonder how much time really passes. I can turn and wake, then slip back into the same dream, still there, waiting for me...<br />
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I`ve often wanted to get a tape recorder for my dreams, but shudder at the thought of then having to be my own secretary to write these words down into cohesive sentences... I think it`s wonderful your take on all of this. :)