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Lichen Sclerosus Is Making Me Depressed

I found out that I have Lichen Sclerosus after the birth of my second son, which was almost five years ago.  I have been single since then.  I have no intention of finding a boyfriend/husband because of this horrible disease.  Honestly, what man is going to want to be with a woman when she says she has 'a horrible skin disease' and can't have sex.  He's, first, going to think it's an STD (of COURSE he'll think that) and then, if you DO get a chance to have sex (which may happen rarely, if at all), he'll then realize that you're horribly disfigured and can't be with you.  If, for whatever reason, he DOES decide to stay with you, the relationship will only end in disappointment after learning that, since you can't have sex with him, he found someone that could and has been with her behind your back, or is leaving you for her, because, after all, 'a man has his needs'.  My ex still tries to be with me, and even though he's psychotic, I've actually thought about getting back with him, since he already knows about the disease and is willing to over-look it.  However, I don't think that HE thinks it's as serious as it is.  And, he too, like all other men, would just end up finding sex elsewhere.  This disease is horrible.  I hate it and I can't understand what I've done that's so horrible that I had to get this.  Have I really been so bad that I deserve THIS?!  Anyway, I'll raise my kids alone and grow old alone, and that's just the way it's going to be.  Oh well.

Renee68 Renee68 41-45, F 12 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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Don't be disheartened. I agree, it is a terrible disease and I am feeling pretty sorry for myself today, as I have a very bad flair-up of LS in the back passage. I also have vulvar LS and there are days when, like yourself, I ask myself why this is happening to me. I am hearing all the time that women are coping and things "have settled down", although this hasn't happened to me. If your ex still wants to be with you, why don't you? Sounds to me like he still loves you. I can't have sex either, it is just too painful, although I have bought a new cream which is supposed to help in that area. Keep cheerful and know that you are not alone.

How Renee: I was diagnosed with LS about two weeks ago. I was going out with a man for about three months. When we first started dating he was saying romantic things on the phone to me. I told him I had an itch. Anyhow, I went to the doctor and it took another coupld of months for them to do a biopsy. They told me to have lots of sexs so I tried. My new relationshiped failed and I would never let him look at me.

What you say is true. I sitll have the heart and mind desires but my physical appearence is not me anymore.

There is no one out there talking about the pain of not dating any more.

Sure I could go back with my ex but there was reason why I am not with him.

So I do understand how you feel. Men just run so why put yourself thru it.

I plan on being a big tease and keep men for friends.

Thanks for your honesty it helped me. We need more people like you on the net! :-)

WE LS people need mental help as well as physical.

I CANNOT TELL U HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE CRIED OVER EVERYTHINGTHAT U JU CUT U HAVE NO RECOURSE TST SAID..TIMES THE ITCHING WAS SO UNBEARABLE THAT I HAD TO SCRATCH IT AND WITH JUST A FIRM TOUCH WITH THE TP AS I WIPED AND TRIED TO HINDER SOME OF THE ITCHING IT TORE MY SKIN AND BLED A NICE BIG BRIGHT BLOOD STAIN AND IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT THE BURNING PAIN STARTS. ONCE YOU'RE CUT U HAVE NO RECOURSE BUT TO HEAL...MY HUSBAND IS HORNY ALL THE TIME AND ALTHOUGH HE SAYS HE FEELS BAD FOR IT HURTING ME DURING SEX, HE STILL PROCEDES AND IT REALLYHURTS WHEN YOUR SPOUSE HAS A I HAVE MY NEEDS ATTITUDE AND U R BARELY ABLETO WALK OR SIT BECAUSE OF THE UNPLEASURABLE INFERNO BETWEEN UR LEGS. IT BREAKS MY HEART. I'M SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN TOO. WE DON'T DESERVE IT...I GUESS ITS PART OF LIFES LESSON...HAT DOESN'T KILL USMAKES US STRONGER...I HAVESO MANY AILMENTS, I MUST BE WONDERWOMAN...TRY TO THINK POSITIVE...I WILLPRAY FOR U

I feel for you... single with your kids... husband back and forth.. leaving.. trying to overcome everything and you dealing with it all. Me: I couldn't even find the right man to marry and now in my 50s, afraid to meet anyone really.. can't do it either until they get this Dr. Casanova's treatment procedure into Canada from Italy or the USA from doctors there. I love kids, fear the future, want to adopt in future; afraid the guy is going to leave.

Nuserkanin could not have said it better, Renee. This is honestly the place to feel free--and tust us--we understand. I bet your a beautiful, wonderful person--you obviously have a huge heart inside of you :) Keep your chin up and just remember----->> we are going through the same thing. We are all here for you because we can actually relate, not just empathize. You're going to be okay, Renee. You are not going to raise your kids alone nor are you going to end up alone. As the great Bob Marley said, "everything gonna be alright!" ;) <3

P.S. Don't sell yourself short by getting back with your ex if he is abusive or hurtful to you. You will do more damage to yourself by being with someone hurtful than good by simply having someone.

Oh Renee, I'm so sorry to hear about your depression and pain. I know you are hurting inside and shame on anyone who criticizes your negativity. This should be a place where we can express our fears and negative feelings as well as our success stories and advice. Don't give up, although they are few and very well hidden, there are those who would be loyal without traditional sex and willing to be creative with intimacy. Don't believe the part of you that says you are disfigured or not attractive. You are just as beautiful as any other woman. As for men assuming it's an STD, a simple google search will prove to them that it's not. I have been exactly where you are, have had all these thoughts. I won't say they go away, but you're not alone.

I am fortunate to have a long-term (30+ yrs.) and solid relationship. My husband is very understanding, gentle, and considerate. He is also grateful that I enjoy using my mouth for him when my vulva is just not up to any activity.

I can second that point. In 2011 I met a great guy. I had to tell him what was going on when I wasn't keen on a physical relationship. To my surprise he was brilliant, and has been ever since.
I was given some steriod tape which I found difficult to put on myself. He offered to assist me, I was really nervous as he had never seen the condition. I need not have worried he was great.
We enjoy a good relationship which doesn't have to involve sex as, he knows its painful for me.
There are some guys who are genuine who, will love You for the person you are, and not for what they can get beneath the sheets.
Don't settle for anyone who is not understanding, kind and considerate.
I know it hard, between the itching,bleeding and feeling totally uncomfortable life sucks. We are here to lighten your load

I think that your too down on yourself and the men who are close to you. Your negative and that will stop you from moving on. There is a always a way with your partner to be intimate, it does not stop the closeness .....only if you let it. I have this and I am scared and worried I may lose my life.....not that I cannot have sex. Hope this does not sound blunt.

I know you were upset and possibly in tears when you wrote this and I can relate to how you feel. If you want, please read my story it might help.

Wow...not exactly what I had in mind when posting on this website. I know this disease sucks, but not enough to be totally frickin' negative. I was looking for support, ideas, and suggestions on how to live with this, not a reason to give up. Thanks anyway.

MAYBE U NEVER EXPERIENCED HOW EXCRUCIATING THESE SYMPTOMS CAN BE...WHERE ELSE R WE SUPPOSE TO VENT...WE HAVE TO VENT TO MOVE ON AND UP...U R GIVING UP TOO SOON. HOPE U DONT HAVE IT TOO SEVERELY. IT HELPS KNOWING U R NOT ALONE

God, that sucks. I thought cystic acne ****** my **** up. You seriously can't have sex? That blows. The possibility of sex is all that keeps me from painting the wall with my brains.