My Girlfriend

Hi all, I didn't know where to ask these questions so I thought that this would be a great place to start.
Me and my girlfriend started going out when we were 16 and after 2 and a half years we've just broken up, this was for several reasons:

•She's off to uni in September (up in Scotland and I live in London)
•Our relationship has dulled down a little but nothing that cannot be fixed
• And the fact that we cannot have sex due to her vulvar vestibulitis syndrome

I have always supported her when it comes to the latter of the three and we have tried to sex a couple of times but of course nothing has happened. I haven't pressured her into sex atall and I honestly want to wait as I want her to be my first, however she has got into her head that she has let me down and that "I should go off and find a better girl who can give me what I deserve."
I would never say that I understand how she feels fully but I can see how she could think that.. But I want her!

This is a major problem as it affects her confidence and ultimately our relationship, so I'd like to get a better understanding of how she feels and if somebody could point me into the right direction to proving to her that I love her too much to care about this.
Wickham93 Wickham93
3 Responses May 20, 2012

You need to get HER on this site, reading the stories of others. She'll understand there are many with the same problem. Maybe she'll get some good advice for things she can try to ease her pain. My problem started at a much older age so I don't know if my suggestions are appropriate for her. I think she should see a doctor who truly specializes in this sort of problem. Many doctors are still in the dark about it and just throw one drug after another at you. In my case a careful diet and very careful use of non-chemical body care products has made a huge difference. She has many years ahead of her for a loving, fulfilling sexual relationship and she shouldn't give up on that becoming a reality.

It is very difficult to deal with vvs. There is a strong sense of shame. I feel like I am less than a woman because we can't have intercourse. The only way you can prove it to her is it not let her push you away (unless there are more reasons than just this). I am so blessed to be married to such an amazingly patient man who has never once complained about not being able to have intercourse (except in the beginning when we didn't know what was wrong). He knows it's more difficult for me than for him. He says it's not my problem, it's our problem. We are married so that makes a difference too. He's not going to bolt. And he makes sure I know that.

She has also had surgery, of which she didn't really want to tell me about as she wants to do it alone, but I'm trying to make it a thing that we are both going through together.