Sudden Change

Last night was the third night that I cried myself to sleep. I was raised in a Catholic family (please don't comment anything harsh about religion and stuff.) and I felt that I am not complete because I haven't been praying for more than a month. The reason is either I fell asleep while reading or listening to music. I cried because my mom and I had a fight. I have a post on it too.

I cried and I cried and I begged for forgiveness to God because of what I said to my Mom, that I don't believe in him, which is a lie. And as I doze off while still crying.

I had a different dream.

The man from my repetitive dream is a musician in real life. He's one of the guitarists of my most favorite band and I had a crush on him for more than 2 years now. He's also included in my recent dream.
As far as I could remember, he was staying over at our house. His band mates were supposed to follow within a week's time. Funny because in my dream my mom and I are in very very good terms. Which is the exact opposite in reality. He's always sitting on my favorite spot, the long couch on the rightmost side. It's near the door. Given that I had a crush on him, stealing glances at him was my favorite past time. I really love his bright blue eyes while he plays his guitar.

The scenario changed, it was raining so hard it's like a typhoon was present in the city. He was sleeping on the long couch. He had his long hair back, and I was touching his face and he slowly opened his eyes. He held my hand as if he was guiding me to trace his face. I really felt his skin. And as I touch his chest I felt his warmth. I suddenly woke up.

I'm actually having menstrual cramps in reality. But what's extraordinary was the touch. It felt so real. Does anyone else experience that?
badcookie badcookie
18-21, F
Jan 6, 2013