This is a dream I had last year, for some reason it was set in the Original series Star Trek timeline. I am not even a Star Trek fan, (my father and uncle used to be into it when I was younger) so that's why it was a weird dream. Trekkies please pardon my dream for any technical inaccuracies.

Anyways, in my dream I was an officer in charge of a small Federation mining outpost on the far reaches of federation territory. Technically I was even "Captain" of a ship as the outpost had its own starship that was 2.5 times larger than a shuttle (I have no clue what class ship that would be so sue me nerds). Being good at my job I ran an efficient and profitable facility, which was a huge accomplishment given the meager resources the federation delegated toward it. I was able to do this by applying lean manufacturing techniques, effective cost controls, cutting edge scientific theories, and investing in R&D.

As the head of a small operation I had many duties including being the head of security. During my routine security checks I discovered some abnormalities (my dream wasn't really clear as to what they were) that I felt needed to be reported to the Federation HQ. Soon after I got a message from Starfleet telling me not to discuss the abnormalities with anyone and they were sending 3 ships to my location (one of which was the Enterprise). One of the ships was the same class as the enterprise the other was the next size up.

After getting this message, I was like woah ****'s starting to get real. Better look into those abnormalities some more. After some detective work I was able to discover that at some point a well-known Federation outlaw had recently stowed away on my outpost and tampered with some little used machinery while he was there. He was no longer on my outpost but it would seem that what he did hinted at a larger plan involving a weapon of mass destruction. Additionally this outlaw had clashed with Captain Kirk and the Enterprise on numerous occasions hence why they were involved.

Upon the arrival of the federation ships I was beamed aboard the largest ship for a meeting. Upon entering the meeting room I was greeted by Captain James T. Kirk and his first officer Commander Spock. Kirk was jovial in his introduction and told me to call him Jim. Spock was very formal in his greeting and introduced to me to a snobby Captain who gave me a half assed hello. He then said to Kirk "I don't know why Captain Stickuphisbutt wanted this guy here for the meeting. He let the outlaw get away."
I didn't want to be disrespectful being that Captain Snobby who outranked me, so I said nothing. But I was thinking that if it wasn't for me, they wouldn't even know the outlaw was nearby. Most people in my position would not have uncovered/reported the clues to his whereabouts. Additionally even the beloved Captain Kirk, let this outlaw get away TWICE!

No matter, the conversation was interrupted as Captain Stickuphisbutt entered the room. He was a man in his late 50's with a gruff demeanor that would suggest he had a stick up his butt. He sat down at the head of the table with captain snobby to his right and Kirk, and Spock to his left. I followed suit and sat next to Snobby.
“As you are well aware we are on the hunt for the Outlaw who plans to use WMDs on innocent civillians. I brought you into this meeting because you are the best the Federation has to offer glances at Kirk and Spock; and you have strong knowledge of the system the outlaw is hiding in glancing at Captain Snobby and myself. Now tell me how do you propose we deal with the outlaw?”
At which point Commander Spock stands up from his chair and says “If I may…” “By all means…” said Captain Stickuphisbutt. Spock continued “based on the information provided by Kingshelman, it is only logical to deduce that the outlaw is hiding on planet XYZ, and planning to use his weapon there”. He is good I thought; after all that’s the same conclusion I came to after all my extensive research. “Therefore it is imperative that we apprehend the criminal with minimal civilian casualties. Our chief engineer Lt. Comander Montgommery Scott proposed we use his custom device to disarm the weapon. In conclusion we split into two teams one to apprehend the outlaw one to disarm the weapon ”. Captain Stickuphisbutt laughed and then exclaimed “Goshdarnnit Kirk you did it again, I knew we could rely on you.”
After reviewing the specs of the device Spock suggested I interrupted “I hate to rain on anyone’s parade, but the device you suggest using to disarm the bomb appears to be heavily modded from its original purpose and would need to operated at a speed and energy level well beyond its recommended capacity. Should the device not function properly you are looking at the death of millions.” Everyone at the table proceeded to give me an odd look. I went on to explain my conservative plan which would pretty much guarantee the capture of the outlaw but only result in the death of 200-500 people.
“He who does not RISK, shall get no reward. NO ONE… is vanishing from this universe… on MY watch. Besides, that is why Captain Stickuphisbutt has gathered such qualified personnel. TO TAKE RISK!?!!!” said Kirk. “Agreed, we will proceed with Mister Spock’s plan” said Captain Stickuphisbutt . “My ship will go with Captain’ Snobby’s and the Enterprise to apprehend the outlaw, Kingsheldon you will use the device to disarm the weapon.”
At this point I am losing my cool “Sir with all due respect, prior to today I have never even used a standard type of this machinery let alone the heavily modified one Kirk’s crew will supply. Additionally In my duties I deal with law enforcement and corporate espionage on a daily basis. I have apprehended many criminals during my time on duty. Wouldn’t it be prudent to have my ship on the apprehension squad and the Enterprise rune the device that they designed.”
“Don’t be such a *****” said Captain Stickuphisbutt to which everyone started laughing.
To sum things up the mission was a disaster 500,000 people died. Despite my intense preparation for the mission I was only able to get Scotty’s device to run at 120% capacity not 150% needed. Kirk apprehended the outlaw and was branded a hero. I was brought before a Starfleet court Martial and sentenced to 30 years in prison. During the hearing Captain Stickuphisbutt, Captain Snobby, and Captain kirk all testified that the dumbass plan was my idea and that I insisted they follow me because “I knew the area better than anyone”. My case became a classic case of negligence taught at Starfleet academy.
I finally got out of prison 30 years later I met Kirk again at a bar that I was working as Janitor because that was the only job I could get with my record. He didn’t remember who I was or the incident. I later met Spock years later, he knew who I was. I said to him “I kind of understood why you proposed the high risk plan versus the low risk one, but why did he not want to use the device himself?” He went on some “Its logical” bullshit rant, to which I refuted evry one of his arguments. “Admit it Spock you wanted the glory of catching the outlaw yourself”. He didn’t admit it.
Kingshelman Kingshelman
31-35, M
Aug 20, 2014