Why Stop There? Why Not Go Further?

Ok so I totally know what it's like to worry about being seen and what people might think or do to you if they see you dressed up in public, I was there myself just about 6 months ago... But then I took the plunge and made an awesome discovery for myself: there's nothing to it!

People can think things about you but how do their thoughts hurt you? People can do or say things to you but words are just words and only hurt you if you let them hurt you and people are usually too scared or prideful to do or say anything to you in public and even still there are lots of those hateful people out there but more people are accepting than you'd think! Obviously don't go out dressed and stick to dark alleys, but go to very public places, like malls (and it makes it easier to shop for women's clothes if you're dressed for the occasion).

So here's what to do. You're all already comfortable with wearing pantyhose/tights under your jeans so you've already taken the first baby step and the second baby step is to wear them out under shorts. Many of you like suntan or nude pantyhose which is what I will suggest to begin with first. That's what I started with under my shorts all those months ago and I even wore them to school SEVERAL times and NOBODY noticed, or if they did they never said anything. Try it! 

The next step after that is to wear pantyhose or tights that don't match your skin tone closely under your shorts. Yes this time you will likely be noticed but people still aren't always going to say anything or do anything to you. In fact it's becoming relatively "normal" (notice I said relatively and put the quotes) for men to wear tights during athletic activities such as jogging and biking, especially during the colder months (and even Major League professional players have been wearing hosiery for years now, though you don't always see it) so if anyone asks or says anything you can simply say "hey, it's cold out... just trying to keep warm" (and maybe even add in "it's wash day and all I have clean are shorts" if you need just a bit more of an excuse) but in my experience for the most part you won't even get that. I have only ever been talked to a very few times and that was when I'd been out fully dressed. 

Next step would be to wear a short skirt, not necessarily a mini skirt but something to the knees or so, but with your regular shoes (unless you want to skip ahead to women's shoes at this point) but your usual male top and no hair and makeup done (unless you really want to just skip ahead to that point, which is always an option but you have to feel ready for that). Like I said before, go to a mall or some store that's very public when you do this as you will be less likely to be seen by people you know (people you're trying to keep your secret from) and the strangers there will be less likely to do or say anything bad to you  the more other people there are. You don't even have to shop but you can if you want, just walk around for a bit just to get your nerves settled down because trust me, they will settle down once you realize there's nothing to it. Do this about 5-10 times (or until you feel ready) before moving on to the next step.

Next step, add shoes and top or upgrade from skirt to dress. At this point you're not trying to pass as a woman, you're still just trying to get comfortable being out in public dressed as a woman so don't worry about hair/wig and makeup at this point. Same thing, go to a mall or somewhere like that and just walk around or go shopping or whatever. Perhaps interact with some saleswomen (or salesmen)... etc... do this a few times and it should be easier to get to the next step.

The next step though is probably hardest of all, at least it will be for me though not in terms of comfort, just effort to put into it. This is the point where I"m between. Time to add hair/wig and makeup to your look. Regardless of how passable you are, you'd probably want to try this eventually anyway, just as a sort of final goal. (final if you're JUST a crossdresser... obviously there's more beyond this point if you're transgendered or such which I'm not so this is as far as I'll be going and as far as my knowledge goes). I've done some makeup but not full makeup and I've tried a couple of wigs but my hair is fairly long now and it'd be possible to be styled in a feminine way. I know styling your hair isn't always an option as some of you don't have much hair to work with (by choice or by natural causes) but it's an option for those who do have the hair for it. How to do it? well, if you know how to style your own hair, go ahead... if you want to go to a hair stylist (another possible step to take) go ahead and they won't care, they'll likely be very happy to have you (whether for the money or just happy to have another "gurl" to work on and talk to) or if you have a friend or family member who knows and also knows how to do hair that's also an option but likely not as many of you are still in secret. Makeup is basically the same thing but a little easier to experiment with. buy a few items to try, lipstick is probably item #1 and probably the easiest to apply. I personally don't know much about makeup and I try to follow instructional videos on youtube or other such sites but I can't follow too well and such so I'd prefer to have someone do it on me and teach me how to do it myself so I can learn and my cousin has promised to help me soon but I know not everyone has a friend or cousin or someone who knows that's able to do that. But obviously there are places you can go to get your makeup done and such so that's another option for you if you want.
22-25, M
3 Responses Dec 3, 2012

I'm always out publicly in a skirt or dress and heels as a man, going everywhere but work. No one cares. I've gotten a few questions from people who have known me for years in pants, but even they've taken it in stride and it's simply not a big deal.

You present a nice approach to getting oneself out in public, something that many of us haven't done but really want to do. As you noted the most difficult part is getting it through my head that most people just don't care all that much and those who do care really don't count. I think you have given me inspiration. Thanks.

Well I agree on a few things. I STARTED not by wearing stockings I go out wearing shorts. the shorts get shorter. I start with a tank top. Then start wearing a womens tank. This helps also start getting tan. I wear sneekers then start wearing flip flops or sandles. Then I slio on a bra. start to wear make up. Don't over do it. Women just lightly high light. then work on hair I get like a butch hair style. Some think i AM a lesbian. lol..