Living With The Ineffectuals And Idiots:'(

I have always been interested in living a normal life like the other girls of my age do.I am in my late teens and still i'am here at home with nobody to share my sorrows and joys,
"joys"? Sorry but this is a very rare word in my dictionary and the only reason for this condition is,unfortunately,MY DAD,or,unfortunately,HE IS MY DAD.

The only good thing that i've in my life is my group of three best friends.always with me in any situation,but that bloody butcher never wants me to aur lets me to smile for even once,or until he is at home(always at home 'coz he has no work but to harrass me. I am the eldest of my family and still,he beats me with his floaters and slaps me in front my mother and abuses me like hell.I hate him and the word "DAD". Today's my best friend's birthday and needless to mention.i'am not going to the party, because yesterday,because of my younger brother,i got one floater thrown on my face and a treat of the worst abusive words that one can imagine. I was deprived of getting admission in a good college because  according to him,i'am useless and spending money on me is the money wasted.I am good at studies,i want to achieve something in life and i definitely will untill and unless this man dies. Its' not easy for me write all this for my own dad but his deeds have forced me too. I sometimes think of suicide,want to commit but have never tried. My mother,again needless to say,is dominated by my father even though she is an independent lady working as a lecturer in some college. I am living in a living hell and i know that i don't belong to this place.Neither i am normal nor i will  ever be. and i know that this idiot man will never be served with some common sense by the almighty,so i don;t even pray to god to decrease some pain from my life because it's an impossible event. I cant' even maintain a diary to keep a track of all his deeds because o am scared that if i will read that,i will definitely loose my will to live and will definitely kill my so called father. That is the reason why i am sharing my life here on the net. Thanks for reading, this will give me enough strength to live if you read and understand my current positon.

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May 11, 2012