2 Years Now/...

 I mean, I've written during this time, a bit here or there, some attempts, editing of old stuff, this or that.. but nothing really. Stuff that I just end up deleting or discarding or disregarding... I feel like the more that my outlook on life gets dimmer, and the more that I feel unreachable and the more that I lack, the more my feeling towards writing are the same. I'll sit, look at the keyboard, urge myself to write but when my fingers hover over the letters... I just can't find anything to write. I'll type out something, but delete and write again. Or write out a bunch of stuff, but nothing like a story anymore, I lose faith and interest in my stories so quickly now. I'll have a great idea but as I start typing it out I start planning where it's going and and weaving it together and throwing in this and that and then I get so discouraged. I hate knowing what I'm going to write. More than that nothing feels exceptional enough anymore. I just get bored of what I'm writing no matter how much I like the ideas. The characters... I feel lost with it.

And so far everyone I've talked to it about, just tells me it's a phase or that I should simply just write and disregard everything else. But somehow, even when I do that, it hasn't been working. Idk, maybe after a while it'll come back to me? Maybe if my life changes as well. I keep thinking I need to experience more and then I'll have something to write about. But I've experienced a lot, I don't know what I'm expecting.

 

imustbecrazy imustbecrazy
18-21
Feb 9, 2010