The Morning The Line Was Considered.

When I see her my heart always jumps into my throat, just a little.

It is amazing how, despite all of the years and experiences that have happened since we were together, she still has a noticable affect on me. With but a quick glance it floods back, if only for a second. Once upon a time she was the most important person on planet earth to me. She was the laser focus of all of my mental, physical and, of course, sexual energy. Time has dulled those jolts somewhat, but I don't believe I could live to see them go away completely.

I was lost in a flood of emails at the coffeeshop that doubles as my remote office when that shock hit me from the corner of my consciousness. A flash of brown curls as she strode past the window to my left purposefully. Old hidden urges sprung to life. My body recognized her before my eyes did.

The coffee shop door opened and she walked directly to the counter. Instinct immediately suggested that I call to her. My thining brain interfered with a whisper, "It's been 15 years since the last time you two went out and if we recall correctly, the last time didn't go so well." Time softens the bad memories as surely as it sharpens the good ones beyond actuality. While my brain shackled my gut she turned and saw me, rendering the point moot.

Was that a smile? What did that thing in her eyes. She was a having an old spark glowing a little red as well. It was there and it seemed as though she wanted me to know it.

"Oh my God, how are you? I haven't seen you since the reunion. That was so fun. Everything well?"

I had to pause. This was a lot to take. I was still processing the reality of the situation at and now I had to coherently answer questions.

"Actually things have been pretty rough, but are looking up lately. I won't bore you with it. How about you?"

"I'm great. Things are going well with the business. I was just here in town working and stopped for some tea."

"Hey you can join me if you want, I'm technically working but I need to take a break anyway." My mouth had spoken before my brain could engage the filter.

"You don't mind?"

"Not at all." At least the part of me that is controlling my voice didn't.

Then the small talk began. We talk about nothing because talking about anything may prove a little dangerous. We were both friendly and courteous but caution ruled the moment. There existed a line that shouldn't be crossed. A line that we had vaulted over many times before in a different time and world. We could cross it, but should we?

Without warning, he petite and fit hands, tossed the 500 pound gorilla onto the table.

"This is a little weird isn't it? We can talk about anything and nothing. It doesn't matter, but just the fact that we're sitting here and talking is a risky thing for both of us."

I thought she meant that we'd cause some jealousy from our respective spouses. That fact was undeniable. We were sitting at a table for two in a very public place and altough the people around us probably saw no significance, my wife and her husband would without a doubt.

She was having nothing of caution I would soon realize.

"It only takes a little time and the feelings start to come back. It's almost like it's automatic." She considered me a moment then said," I hope I'm not embarrassing you."

Unfiltered again I said," No you're not at all. I know exactly what you're saying. It's true for me too."

Time and all motion of the earth paused as we both considered the moment carefully. At least I know that I considered it. Before I was done with the mental analysis of the consequences of this conversation she split the fog with like a match igniting.
"Do you ever think about me? About us?"

"Now and then I do" I tiptoed just slightly over the line. The die was cast.

"I think about you too. We did have so much fun."

"We definitely had fun, probably too much a few times." I didn't know where this was going but I was on board and belted in. No turning back.

"Oh my goodness, remember that night behind the church when that old black man came and knocked on the car window?"

"How could I possibly forget. I was sure I was headed for a jail cell. I almost ran over the old man on the way out of the parking lot."

"I had just put my panties back on. I've thought a hundred times that he had to be watching us because he didn't knock until we were done."

"Are you kidding. That thought never entered my mind. I was just glad to get the heck out of there." I paused and considered this shiny new consideration of an ancient event.
"Do you really think he was watching us?"

"I don't know, but I bet he was."

"Doesn't that freak you out?"

"No actually, it's kind of a turn on. I can't believe I just told you that. I could never tell my husband that. He won't even have sex with the lights on. What am I saying? My mouth won't stop moving."

Now she had shoved us into CAUTION RESTRICTED AREA. We're both solidly married with kids and mortgages. I've even met her husband and she's met my wife. We were just at the class reunion a few months ago and all talked pleasantly. Yet in some part of us both were just the same high school kids flirting with new things while discovering the facts of life in the back of my '67 Mustang.

"Oh my, what is wrong with me? This tea is even decaf. It must be you that's doing this to me."

I looked at her directly in her leather brown eyes and said, "It must be."

She returned the direct eye connection and lifting one eyebrow in that way she does said,"Ever thought about it?"

"It" is a very small word and can mean a variety of things from a marshmallow to an aircraft carrier. In this case no more substantial word was necessary. "It" was self evident. "It" was floating on the air all around this tiny silver topped table. "It" had been lying on the other side of that useless line the entire time.

"Yeah, I have thought about it. You?"

"I have. Actually I thought about it when I saw you sitting here." Her voice lowered to a whisper," I'm thinking about it right now."

I swallowed hard. There are only three people in the world that can disarm me like that and she declared with her gaze that she was one of them. Then she interrupted my moment, tearing any counter strategy into shreds speaking again before I could present a token protest.

"I know you're married and I'm sure you're just like me and want to stay that way without any trouble or drama. Let me be honest though. That actually makes it so much more tempting, more...possible."

She grabbed away my obvious confusion in a breath. "I know you wouldn't tell. I know I wouldn't either. And above that all, I know what you're capable of."

This conversation was now so far from the line that I wasn't sure it was possible to cross back over. Not today anyway. I considered my words carefully, which had not been of any assistance so far. But after careful thought, passion shot through good sense.

"You're right. I wouldn't tell."

It hung there in the air like a smoke ring. The only thing left commission. The ground rules had been established. It had been duely considered by both parties. But now "It" was so much more. We weren't just thinking about it. We were talking about it. To each other.

She stood up without taking her eyes from mine.

"It can't be today, though, I've got to go or I won't make it to my next appointment. Work, work, work."

She held me with her eyes and smiled. In that way that she does.

"I'll send you an email."
spark19 spark19
36-40, M
Aug 8, 2010