When I Was Pregnant..

Will I was pregnant and before I was beaten by the father so that I would lose the baby. I was so happy when I found out, I began to write to my unborn child, I would write about what I was doing to make its life better than mine ever was, my struggles with getting clean, and how much I already loved it. I explained that I never thought that I could ever love someone that I never met before as much as I love it. It was an amazing feeling, knowing that a life was growing inside of me. What made me even happier was the fact that I was pregnant for someone that I loved and I really thought that he was going to help me, I thought he wanted this child. I found out at 5 weeks, beat me when I was 5 months and 3 weeks along. I tried so hard to protect my stomach, to protect my unborn child from him, but he was stronger more powerful than me, and he won. I was crushed when I found out that I lost my baby because of him. I will never understand why he hated the thought of having a child with me.To this day, I still wonder how my life would be if I did have that child, it would be 4 years old by now. I wonder if I would be happy with it.. After I lost it I wrote to it telling it that I was so sorry that I couldnt protect it from what happened.