Dear: Absent Father

January 13, 2007

Dear Dad,

I am deeply hurt by our conversation today.  I am well aware that I shouldn't have had higher expectations but I really wasn't aware of how little you thought of me.  In a way, I'm glad because I can now honestly say that you share partial blame when it comes to my short-comings in life.  I don't think that there has been a single moment where you supported me.  When I was young I had hoped you'd take joy in my stories.  Instead you ignored me.  As I grew, I aspired to be a musician.  This time you mocked me.  When I was going to school for computers and criminology and you made it so difficult for me that I actually moved out of the house.  I wanted to go back to school for my B.A. in Psychology and you commented that if I "didn't have my own life together, how could I possibly aid others?"  I ended up dropping out.  Now I tell you that I've finally decided on the one thing I've found that I like to do and I'm pretty good at.  I am trying to make a career out of baking and you tell me that you had hoped for something better...

All of those things you could've chosen from were still good enough?  I know I'm lacking.  I've lived my entire life with the burden that I was the younger sister of your autistic prodigy.  I am the loyly sister to the King.  No matter how great my grades were, you never noticed.  Dispite how many clubs I joined or how many people praised my name to you, I still didn't shine in your eyes.  I was always the nuisence, the troublemaker, the mistake of your life.  And I suppose I will continue to be.

Thank you for this grand revelation.  Honestly, from the bottom of my heart.  Although I am greatly pained and feel mortally wounded, I'm sure that my heart will heal harder than it was before.  Out of it I will grow stronger and finally make something out of myself without your acceptance or pride.  I'm done meeting an impossible standard.  I will just accept that I am your life's greatest disappointment and make sure that I am not MY own life's greatest disappointment.  I will finally be able to do it my way.


Your forgotten daughter

theophania theophania
22-25, F
1 Response Jan 13, 2007

kudos to you.<br />
<br />
and ditto to my father!