Dear: Absent Father
January 13, 2007
I am deeply hurt by our conversation today. I am well aware that I shouldn't have had higher expectations but I really wasn't aware of how little you thought of me. In a way, I'm glad because I can now honestly say that you share partial blame when it comes to my short-comings in life. I don't think that there has been a single moment where you supported me. When I was young I had hoped you'd take joy in my stories. Instead you ignored me. As I grew, I aspired to be a musician. This time you mocked me. When I was going to school for computers and criminology and you made it so difficult for me that I actually moved out of the house. I wanted to go back to school for my B.A. in Psychology and you commented that if I "didn't have my own life together, how could I possibly aid others?" I ended up dropping out. Now I tell you that I've finally decided on the one thing I've found that I like to do and I'm pretty good at. I am trying to make a career out of baking and you tell me that you had hoped for something better...
All of those things you could've chosen from were still good enough? I know I'm lacking. I've lived my entire life with the burden that I was the younger sister of your autistic prodigy. I am the loyly sister to the King. No matter how great my grades were, you never noticed. Dispite how many clubs I joined or how many people praised my name to you, I still didn't shine in your eyes. I was always the nuisence, the troublemaker, the mistake of your life. And I suppose I will continue to be.
Thank you for this grand revelation. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart. Although I am greatly pained and feel mortally wounded, I'm sure that my heart will heal harder than it was before. Out of it I will grow stronger and finally make something out of myself without your acceptance or pride. I'm done meeting an impossible standard. I will just accept that I am your life's greatest disappointment and make sure that I am not MY own life's greatest disappointment. I will finally be able to do it my way.
Your forgotten daughter