Right Now

I'm thinking of you right now, and would never tell you this but I am so uneasy about this meeting you had with your friend today. I know you said nothing will happen but I've been wondering all day what you two are doing. I really hope it is nothing more than just hanging out with a friend. Are you still with her now? Are you with some other friends? Did you go home? I was wondering these things all day long and still even now. I am trying so hard to be non-committal or whatever you want to call it. Not needing you, not being afraid of how you will hurt me someday... but it's so hard. When you tell me you love me, it is a wonderful thing but it also makes me feel so confused. I will see you tomorrow and will pretend nothing is bothering me and everything is just hunky dory. I really desparately hope you tell me that nothing happened today with your friend. I tried so hard not to fall for you but I did anyway, I am just so stupid. When will *I* grow up?
cookies1970 cookies1970
36-40, F
Aug 11, 2007